Out Damn'd Spot

CD 27.

15dpiui.

I went the the bathroom about a thousand times this afternoon. I am totally unable to concentrate. I am supposed to call tomorrow to go in for my blood work. Today, I'm am feeling...(tmi, sorry)...mucusy, if there is such a word.

Boobs still hurt. Back ache got a lot worse a few hours ago. Feeling very warm. Woke up with the same warm eyed head ache. Ovaries are tingling...but I still don't feel any true cramps...maybe a bit tighter than yesterday, but not truly crampy. Or am I just tying to convince myself that it's indigestion? (I think I am in denial, I think the cramps are starting). The lower back pain is so bad that it is sort of masking any other feeling in the abdominal area.

From about mid-morning, I've been feeling wet, leaky, but not exactly flowing, Does that make sense? Even though there is barely anything notable when I wipe. Earlier today, there seemed to be the tiniest bit of what looked like EWCM on the tissue, clear as glass. Now, it's still barely there, (I'm sort of hunting for it because I am losing my mind), but it is taking on the slightest light brown color. But it's still very mucusy.

God, I hate this. It was all I could do to get through the drive home without bursting into tears. We want this so much. Hubby is so excited and hopeful this time, which makes this almost worse if it doesn't work out the way we hope.

Was life to easy for me as a kid? Is that why I have to work so incredibly hard, and wait so frustratingly long to get anything I truly want as an adult? Is it to much to ask to catch a break every now and then?