Injection Insecurities

Good morning everyone. I just got into the office after my Day 9 monitoring appotinment. A half hour earlier than normal. Seriously, it's going to give me away one of these days, more so than coming in late would! I'm eagerly awaiting my results call to see if we will be triggering tonight for a Sunday morning IUI. We triggered on Day 9 with our last sucessful gonal f cycle. So we'll see. Does that seem extremely early to anyone by the way? It kind of freaked me out since I had been ovulating on Day 18 previously. But, I choose to look at it as progree.

Anyway, my dose this cycle is 112.5 Back down to the original dose after the 150 exuberant debacle of last month. Those of you familiar with the gonal f pen know that you can dial up doses in increments of 37.5. You pull out the plunger, confirm the does, and jab away. When you press the plunger, you get a click for each increment. Therefore, my injections go something like this...

Hubby finds a freckle to wipe with alcohol. He likes to have something to aim at. I turn my head. He sticks in the needle, presses the plunger, click "one," click "two," click "three... one... two... three... four... five" and out comes the needle.

Well, last night, this was not the case.

Click "one," click "two...um...hmmm" the plunger was all the way in. When Hubby pulled it out, there was a bead of the fluid on my stomach, and a drip coming out the end of the needle. Ok, now what? Did I get my full dose? It certainly didn't look like it! So what did we do? I made him stick me again with another 37.5 just in case! He's worried about exuberance, but since I knew I was only working with two, and we're likely to be triggered tonight, I figured I'd rather be sure I got enough, instead of too little. Has anything like this ever happened to any of you? When it's 10:00pm, there's not really anyone to call for advice! Whatever. It's done now. I'm not going to panic about it.

In other thoughts, it's one month until my dreaded 36th birthday, which I am really freaking out about much more than 35. I really thought I would be a mom by now. I was going to do it on my own at 35 if I had to. This is not at all what I had planned.

Yesterday, I had to go to the OB/GYN for a pap. It was uneventful. She said everything looks good, and she hopes she sees me soon. I do too! It was that damn waiting room with all the big bellies that was the problem. One of the women even had a girl with her who looked less than 2. All the other women we're standing around her being entertained. I sat against the wall reading your blogs on my phone. Grr...

And then today, as I was walking into the hospital where my RE is, I noticed a guy fussing with a car seat in the back of his car. The hospital has a popular maternity ward, and I thought, oh, how nice for him, he's probably getting ready to go in and get his wife and his new baby to bring them home. Lucky bastard. As I was walking up the steps to the vestibule, I saw his wife, frantically gesturing to him to hurry. He ran past me up the stairs, and I noticed he had an overnight bag. And then I saw her belly. Yes, I think she was an angry pregnant woman in labor who was out of patience, and irritated with her husband. Lucky fertile. For some reason, that scene struck me hard. I actually teared up and thought, when I get to work, I am going to write about this instead of starting work like I should.

The good news is that I feel really good this cycle. I am trying to maintain optimisim with my month of love and strong Sagitarian genetic tendancies.

And the best news is that it's Friday! Ok, back to work everyone!