The Chronicle Begins

Continuing where I left off on my first post, the beginning of March rolled around, and I finally had my appointment with the OB/GYN. I was eager to get the ball rolling on those answers I mentioned. But the appointment got off to a strange start. After originally scheduling it to discuss fertility issues, I received an abnormal result on a pap smear. So, I called the office to say I already had this consultation scheduled, and ask if it was possible to take care of both issues at the same time.

When I showed up at the office that Tuesday morning...4 weeks and a day after the chemical pregnancy, and expecting my next period at any moment, the exam room was set up for the colposcopy. Dr. S walked in, checked out what she needed to check out, and was ready to head on about her business. I burst into tears and said I was there also to discuss my fertility, or lack there of. The whole process got off to a bit of a strange start. I told her my history. She was not nearly as impressed as I had hoped with my BBT charts, suggesting ovulation predictor kits instead. She also did not seem overly concerned about the timing of my ovulation and said that I could get started with clomid right away. It would involve visits on day 3 and day 10, and just call when my period started.

Well, wouldn't you know, Hubby and I were heading out of town to Florida, for what was supposed to have been a romantic getaway perfectly timed for baby making, in two days. The chemical pregnancy the previous month had thrown off our calender, and now our vacation was going to be tampon filled. Good times. It also meant that we would be on our own for one more month before getting any kind of medical assistance.

Florida was fun, if a bit of a bust, as it was unseasonably cold there last year. But, we enjoyed the ocean air, sunshine, and walks on the beach, and returned home feeling refreshed and ready for spring.

As a side note, at the same time as I was trying to get my infertility journey off the ground, I was helping my mother to plan a baby shower for the afore mentioned perfect brother and sister-in-law. They were having a girl who we were all affectionately referring to as Bambina. And, being the family party planner, I was in charge of invitations. I managed to enjoy the creative process, but it was hard to control my jealousy. I really, really want to have a girl. (as you may have guessed by the title of this blog...of course, I want one of each, ultimately, but at this point, who knows what will happen, and any child would be an incredible addition to my life). But I am a girl, a girly girl to the point that I have given myself the name Principessa for the purposes of this blog. At least, no matter what, I will always have a niece to spoil with girly things.

Getting back to the answers. by the end of March, I was heading in for my day 3 blood work, ready to finally get the ball rolling. That afternoon, I got one of my answers. My TSH was in the mid-5s, which was higher than the infertility coordinator wanted it. Dr. S was unreachable, and another doc in the office said it would still be ok to start Clomid on day 5. It's hard to remember all of the details now, but ultimately, I was told that I had sub-clinical hypothyroidism, and I should see my primary care doctor to sort it out before pursuing any further treatment.

Sub-clinical hypothyroidism.

It was an answer. An answer that possibly explained a lot of other health issues I have dealt with other the years, from IBS to anxiety and depression. Even though it was an answer, it was incredibly frustrating. I am able to access the last decade of my medical records online. My thyroid has always been the first thing tested for various medical complaints. My TSH has always been found to be normal. I know now that "normal" is debatable, and that the my range was consistently above the newer more controversial range of what is acceptable. I tried not to dwell on what my life could have been had this been discovered many years earlier. I started on Levoxyl and prepared for the Bambina Shower.

By June, my levels were in the 3s, and Dr. S's office was content to go ahead with a monitored Clomid cycle. On a Saturday, in mid-June, I had my first IUI. Exactly 14 days later, I got my period. That afternoon, Hubby and I decided to make an offer on a house. It was a horrible, painful, exciting and anxiety ridden day.

We ended up getting the house, which was amazing! We were renting a house a the time, and I really, really, really wanted to have a house before we have a baby. I want to nest, and make it beautiful and welcoming for Violetta. I want to have time to get settled, and make it my own. Four months after moving in, I'm still working on getting settled. I'll write about that eventually. But I know I have at least 9 months to get it ready for our baby.

After the first IUI didn't work, the coordinator asked if I wanted to start up again right away with Clomid and another monitored cycle. We had a weekend away planned, which looked to conflict with a potential IUI date. And because my TSH was still above 3 (I was reading online that under 2 is better, although this is a newer and more controversial opinion), I decided I should see a Reproductive Endocrinologist to make sure that aspect was getting enough attention. We were on our own again for July while I waited for a consultation with Dr. A in early August. I'll pick up there next time.