I turned 38 last week on April 4th. And I have to say, I am feeling better than I have in a long, long while. I know I've been kind of quiet around these parts lately. There has been a lot of talk about healing. And I think that's what I've been doing. Healing from IF, healing from PPD, not to mentiong healing from a sinus infection and a stomach bug! And today, at least in this very moment, I am feeling great!
The medications and the therapy have made all the difference in the world for my mood. I am finally feeling confident, and capable, and no longer freak out at the thought of Hubby possibly having to spend a few nights away. (we'll see how I feel if/when this actually happens right when I go back to work!) Leo is changing and growing every day, and it is pure joy to watch him take on the world. More about what he's up to in the next day or so when I write his 6 month post. (how on earth did 6 months go by so darn quickly??)
When I look at photos of myself these days, I am beginning to see my sparkle again. My smile seems genuine, no longer forced. And being nearly 30 pounds lighter than I was 5 years ago when I go married doesn't hurt either. I'm not really looking forward to starting work again in three weeks, but I am looking forward to going back looking and feeling better than I have since before I started this job.
I do feel like I don't have much to say these days. And I think that's because I'm happy. I finally have the family I've dreamed of. It's spring, the sun is shining, the days are longer. I want to spend my time enjoying my life instead of documenting it. I feel less of a need to write when things are going well. There is less to work through, to process. It's easier to just be.
I'm sure there will be times when I'll still need this space. I'm not going to make any decisions about giving it up right now. This community is too valuable of a resource! I still plan to post L's monthly updates here for at least his first year. After that, who knows.
I'll leave you with this shot of my little cutie enjoying his first trip to the Boston Children's Museum, which is how we celebrated my birthday.
