I turned 38 last week on April 4th. And I have to say, I am feeling better than I have in a long, long while. I know I've been kind of quiet around these parts lately. There has been a lot of talk about healing. And I think that's what I've been doing. Healing from IF, healing from PPD, not to mentiong healing from a sinus infection and a stomach bug! And today, at least in this very moment, I am feeling great!
The medications and the therapy have made all the difference in the world for my mood. I am finally feeling confident, and capable, and no longer freak out at the thought of Hubby possibly having to spend a few nights away. (we'll see how I feel if/when this actually happens right when I go back to work!) Leo is changing and growing every day, and it is pure joy to watch him take on the world. More about what he's up to in the next day or so when I write his 6 month post. (how on earth did 6 months go by so darn quickly??)
When I look at photos of myself these days, I am beginning to see my sparkle again. My smile seems genuine, no longer forced. And being nearly 30 pounds lighter than I was 5 years ago when I go married doesn't hurt either. I'm not really looking forward to starting work again in three weeks, but I am looking forward to going back looking and feeling better than I have since before I started this job.
I do feel like I don't have much to say these days. And I think that's because I'm happy. I finally have the family I've dreamed of. It's spring, the sun is shining, the days are longer. I want to spend my time enjoying my life instead of documenting it. I feel less of a need to write when things are going well. There is less to work through, to process. It's easier to just be.
I'm sure there will be times when I'll still need this space. I'm not going to make any decisions about giving it up right now. This community is too valuable of a resource! I still plan to post L's monthly updates here for at least his first year. After that, who knows.
I'll leave you with this shot of my little cutie enjoying his first trip to the Boston Children's Museum, which is how we celebrated my birthday.
Isn't it funny how being happy seems to take away the urge to blog?
ReplyDeleteGlad to read your update and see L's photo! :-)
Oh, and Happy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday!! I'm so glad you posted, I have been thinking bout you a lot. Especially since I knew your birthday was so close to mine. It's wonderful to hear how well you're doing. Wow! Congrats on the weight loss too. I'm a bit jealous of that. I'll have to wait until next year to do that. I've missed you. I wish you the best, and I'll always think of you no matter what you do with this space :) hugs!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday my sweet friend! You look amazing and oh so happy in that picture! It feels me with happiness to see you being happy!
ReplyDeleteThe work thing blergh it hasn't been too bad ;)
Here's to happiness and to healing x
Happy Happy Birthday!!! I am so happy to hear you are well, feeling great & are so happy! You look so beautiful in your birthday picture. Little Leo is a doll.
ReplyDeleteHappy 38th Birthday to you! You look amazing and I am so happy that life is treating you good.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday! I couldn't agree more with why you've been quiet on your blog my own radio silence seems to be for the same reason, I guess I don't write as much when I'm happy and baby is sleeping =) So glad to hear you're doing well!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday Jen! So true about feeling good = less the need to write. Which isn't a bad thing! I'm so glad to hear you are healing from PPD. Leo is so freaking adorable in those overalls!!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you had a happy birthday. REALLY glad you are feeling great. I see your sparkle in that picture :) Thank you universe for the spring and sunshine!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday jen! I know how you feel. I have worked hard to get where I am and sometimes I just want to be. I would rather spend my time enjoying coop and not worry so much about posting. Take the time you need and be happy. So glad you are feeling better.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday! I hope that you have yet another wonderful year!
ReplyDelete