Me-day Monday

I just got back from my IUI. It went off without a hitch. Though, the nurse did struggle a bit with the catheter placement. And, when she was placing the speculum, I got the usual response of "Oh, you are very ovulatory!" Yep, those abundant egg whites again. It was a little lonely this time because Hubby wasn't with me. He went in at 7:30 to deposit his sample. I didn't have to show up until 9:00. Since it's a work day, we went our separate ways.

My way lead me back to my couch. I decided to call in, or really email, to work today. Isn't it nice that we don't need to fake a cough anymore? I've been struggling so much with my mood and my emotional state over the past few days. And last night, I was awake for about two hours in the middle of the night. That sealed my decision. I need a day to myself.

I'm supposed to call on 3.23 to schedule blood work if I haven't started my period by then. It's Day 28 of this cycle, but it's 16 days away! That's more than two weeks. No fair! I also was able to schedule my next appointment with Dr. A. The appointment I that I hope I won't need, but is scheduled in the same way that I put an umbrella in my bag hoping it won't rain. The appointment to discuss IVF once and for all. It's on 3.28, right before our trip to London, which is just how I wanted it.

I am trying not to feel guilty about missing work. Physically, I feel well enough to sit in a chair at my desk all day. Mentally well is another story. I don't have anything much to do of my own these days at work. I've been floating from project to project helping others with their deadlines, waiting for a new project of my own. It's not very motivating. But it does allow me to fly under the radar a bit when I need to leave for appointments, or phone calls. Today, though, one of my favorite people to work with was planning on having me help her out with a deadline. She did only tell me about it on Friday. Screw it. Bringing Violetta into this world is my biggest priority, therefore taking care of myself before someone else's deadline is what's most important. If I need a Me-day Monday for the sake of my mental health, so be it.

I'm hoping to relax, watch my soaps, and think about ways to find this joy my mom is always talking about. She sent me an email this weekend saying she MISSES me. Well mom, I miss me too. Maybe my Me-day will help me find a little bit of me.