A First Date

Five years ago today, I left my apartment wearing my pink coat (which I still have), and headed into Back Bay to meet a guy I had met on Chemistry dot com for lunch. It was a gray Sunday afternoon, as March afternoons in New England often are. I had been up late the night before, as I had been left on a corner near the projects in the South End—three long blocks from my apartment—after a terrible date with another guy I had met online...at one in the morning. But bad dating stories are for another time.

I was excited to meet this guy. I liked what he said on his profile. Chemistry is a personality matching sight (I'm a negotiator director, he's a negotiator builder, and they take you through some guided "get to know you" exercises, where you exchanges silly questions and answers with your matches. I had asked him what songs would be on the soundtrack of his life. He was very thorough in his answer, and included some disco and a few show tunes. My classmates in grad school, who looked over my shoulder at the selections presented to me, had picked him as their favorite. And after the night before, I had high hopes.

I was anxious, so I'd left my place a little early, and ended up having some time to kill. I decided to browse around one of my favorite shoe stores, which was right across the street from the cafe. Finally, it was time to meet. As I crossed the street, I noticed a guy in a black leather jacket up the block, heading toward the cafe. It was him. I remember that he turned around a looked at me. We made eye contact, and he recognized me. It felt like a scene in a movie. I'm pretty sure he kept walking to the cafe. Probably to be sure that it really was me, and not just some girl who looked like she might be me, walking down the street. That could have been awkward!

We had a lovely lunch, and there was no shortage of conversation. I'd always thought he had nice eyes, but in person, they sparkled. I can't even remember most of what we talked about. I do remember that he told me about his younger brother. His taller, smarter younger brother who plays the guitar. And then said "I should really stop talking about my brother, you're going to want to date him instead!"


After we finished lunch, neither one of us was ready for the date to end, so we headed a few block away to a popular dessert place and had some sweets. I think it was there that he mentioned his last name. It's Italian. I've always had sort of a thing for Italians. This guy didn't immediately look Italian to me. But he is, in fact half. I remember thinking to myself, ah, ok, this makes sense now. 


After dessert, he offered me a ride back to my apartment. He said his truck was just around the corner. Now, I realize, it's not necessarily the wisest thing for a girl to do, to get in a car, or should I say pick-up truck with a guy she just met. And, had I not been left alone on the corner the night before, I might not have been so eager for a ride. It was also broad daylight in busy Back Bay, and we only had a few city blocks to go. So, I jumped in.

As I mentioned, one of the things that had attracted me to this guy was his response to the soundtrack of his life question. Well, when we got in the truck, I found that he had actually burned his soundtrack to a CD and was playing it! Yes, this was my kind of guy. we drove the few blocks to my building, we talked about seeing each other again. and that was that.

We probably would have gone out again later that week, but I was headed to visit my mom during my spring break. Our second date was the day after I got back, on a Monday. Sushi, followed by a drink at a small bar by my place. I think we talked about AutoCAD and made fun of Architects. He's a structural engineer. I was studying to be an interior designer. And architects, well, they are a special breed. But I digress. Very romantic conversation, huh? That night, he walked me back to my building, and I got a small kiss on the lips. I was later told that he wanted to make sure he got the kiss in before the third date, and he was banished to the friend zone.

Our third date was that Friday, a tour of his old college stomping grounds. By then, I think we both thought it was going somewhere. He later told me that when he was in the bathroom at the bar, he heard the song 867-5309 (Jenny) and took it as a sign.

A few weeks later, he was picking me up after my night class for a late birthday dinner. He gave me a small travel jewelry box with a pair of cheesy red heart dangly earrings, and said it was for all the jewelry he was going to give me in the future. He's done a decent job so far!

That is just a quick retrospective of the early days to commemorate that day five years ago. I'll leave with some final thoughts of what I liked about him back then. Of course, this list could get far longer...but in keeping with today's topic, just some of the things that made me look forward to the next date.

* His sparkling eyes
* His enthusiasm and passion for simple things - he got really excited about that sushi
* His kindness - he always considers the feelings of others
* His love of his family - among other things, he and his brother visit their grandfather about every other week
* His helpfulness and creativity - he talked with me for hours developing ideas for my thesis, even though he was convinced he was part of my research (it had to do with dating)
* His willingness to be silly and passionate about things like life soundtracks and American Idol and hosting parties to determine the most definitive Christmas song
* His intelligence

Happy First Date Anniversary Babe! March was lucky five years ago. Let's hope it's lucky again. I love you.