I Gave In

CD25

13dpiui (now officially the longest luteal phase I've had post iui...unless of course I start bleeding this afternoon, I am known to start later in the day, but I still don't feel like it's imminent)

And the test says "not pregnant"

It's the fancy EPT digital. I bought it after my chemical last year, when the second line was so faint I thought the digital would help eliminate the confusion. I hadn't felt confident enough to use it until now, so it's been sitting in my drawer ever since. If I felt the need to test early since last year, I'd always stop at CVS for some good old fashioned two pink liners. I'm not even sure I always choose the same brand. I didn't know about internet cheapies until I met all of you!

Anyway, I am now questioning whether I wish I had those pink lines to interpret. Maybe the digital needs a level that would create a 30% line, and I only would have a 10% line, but if I had a line, I could at least make myself more insane trying to tell if it was really there or not. Grrrrr! IF Insanity! This test is only 51% accurate 4 days before your missed period. OK, well, my last cycle was 30, a few before that it was 22. My Period Tracker has my average at 26 at the moment. I have no idea how many days I am before my missed period. I decided to test because of the amount of time that has passed since the iui, my symptoms, and because maybe, just maybe, if I got the result I was looking for, I could stop freaking out a few days earlier! (of course, I'm sure there would be another level of freaking out after that...)

I still have lots of symptoms...what they are of, we still cannot be sure. 

~ Sore boobs 

~ Weird warm-eyed mild head ache with a little bit of "stuffiness which isn't really stuffiness, but Hubby commented that I sound like I have a cold. I'm told that nasal "congestion" is an early sign.

~ Increasingly sore lower back. I'm not thrilled that it seems to be getting worse. 

~ Mild heart-burn with the slightest queasy feeling the last two nights (could be nerves...I'm certainly working myself up with anticipation). This is a completely new symptom for me. 

~ I feel really warm. (I'm not BBTing, but a sign of an increased temp?) We painted the dining room and kitchen yesterday and I kept getting head rushes as I went up and down the step stool. 

~ Slight twinges, especially on the left side, that feel like they are in the area of my ovaries, as opposed to cramps which are in the middle. Does anyone else feel activity in their ovaries long after ovulation?

~ Constipation (the crampy feeling I'm getting from that after meals leaves me completely paranoid for a few hours...I over think every gas bubble to determine whether it is actually gas or a cramp.) I am downing glasses of benefiber a few times a day!

What is missing are the cramps, or essentially any real sense of feeling in my uterus at all. It was tight and heavy earlier after the iui. But not anymore. After my last iui, I felt mildly crampy, and also had a lower back ache, the day before my period. I don't chart my symptoms religiously, but I feel like the lower back ache is usually a sign that the cramps are imminent, like within a few hours. And the cramps mean the bleeding is starting within a day, sometime a few hours. So the back ache without the cramps has me hanging on to hope. 

So, after all of that, I guess it is really too soon to tell. I am still. just. waiting.

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For a little distraction, in the past two weeks since I started Laugh. Dream. Enjoy, I have Transformed, Walked, Sung, Sucked, Solved, Basked, Celebrated, Heard, Investigated, Primped, Induldged, & Rested. And Waited. A lot of waited.