I am not a raging bitch

Or so my fantastic husband tells me as he hugs my while I take a deep breath, and kisses my cheeks as tears threaten to spill from my eyes.

I am feeling really grumpy today. I have to think it's got to be a hormone thing. It's so frustrating to feel so emotionally raw, and for no good logical reason. I am really excited about this cycle, and trying to maintain a positive attitude. So, when everything today is making me feel like screaming or crying...well, I just don't know what to do with that.

We are having some friends over for dinner tonight. Two couples who have yet to see our house, and one other woman. I am an interior designer, and I put a lot of pressure on myself for the house to look nice. And I also inherited the tendency to FREAK OUT WHEN CLEANING IN PREPARATION FOR GUESTS from my dear mother. The reality is, that I really have nothing to worry about in terms of how the house looks. I've already helped one couple out with their living room, and nearly every wall in their house is white. There is no question they will be impressed. The other couple recently moved back to the area, and their house is a disaster. We were there with a group over the holidays and we had to stand around the kitchen island because there was literally no where to sit. Every surface was either covered with stuff, or dog hair. Why am I worried what they will think?

I'm going to blame it on the hormones.

I got up this morning, and started to prepare dinner. I'm making cassoulet, and letting the slow cooker do the work. But it was an hour of prep. While I was cleaning the sink before I started chopping, I looked out the back window and saw Hubby. Oh, good, he's finally moving the broken branch of the pine tree off of the good branch before that one breaks off too. Wait a minute. Why the fuck is he outside? We have a meal to cook and a house to clean?

Then, he came back in, and was running up and down the stairs with tools and other supplies. I asked what he was doing and he said he was going to install the make shift counter he had in mind for our laundry room, in the interim before we buy a new washer and drier. Again, I got frustrated that he was doing home improvement projects when we have a house to clean, and dinner to prepare. He works so hard around our house, and manage to pull off amazing feats, for which I am eternally grateful. But he does have a tendency to get distracted at times. Like recently deciding to reorganize the kitchen cabinets when he initially intended to do the dishes...just hours before my mom was arriving for the weekend.

We had a little chat. He wanted to feel like he got something done to make his Saturday not just about cleaning. I wanted to make sure the cleaning was done and the house was ready before we actually did anything with our day. The poor guy. He hugged me, and laughed a nervous laugh. He tends to laugh when he thinks I'm losing my mind and he doesn't know what to do with me.

He said he was going to blame it on the hormones.

To his credit, when he finished the counter, he whirled about the house like a tornado, picking up all the accumulated crap, dusting every surface, straightening the office, even cleaning off his nightstand and sorting all the laundry so he could deposit it on his new countertop. And while I vacuumed, he cleaned the bathroom. Have I ever mentioned that I have the best husband ever?

Now, I have 3.5 hours until our guests arrive. I have a few hours to do something for me. And my amazing Hubby, for who I am eternal grateful, who hugs me, kisses me, and tells me I'm doing great, even though that's the farthest feeling from my mind, is taking a walk to buy the French bread that I forgot to get last night.

I love you babe. xoxo

* * * 

Twenty minutes later...

Hubby returns from his walk with the french bread and a bouquet of flowers for his raging bitch hormonal wife. Isn't he the best?