Ah, There's the Bitter

I've been wondering when I'd feel like an infertile again. I found out yesterday, when Hubby called me at lunch to check in. He told me he'd spoken to his mom to tell her that the ultrasound went well. She had some news for him as well. It turns out that his cousin A is due in September. She's about 4 years younger than me, and got married a few months after us. My initial reaction was...are you kidding me? Hubby had a whole chat with her at his family's Holiday celebration (which occurred a week after New Years) about not waiting too long to seek help, and if she needed to talk through any options, to let us know. Her mom is his mom's sister, and let's just say, they're wicked close. We had known for months that A was trying (which makes me cringe at what the rest of the family knows about me...but whatever!) I've honestly been expecting this announcement, and in all honesty, I had fully planned to feign illness and leave the holiday party early if she had come out with it then. In any case, my first reaction was that she must have had a really hard time keeping a straight face when Hubby was trying to offer advice. I am told that she didn't know she was pregnant yet at that particular moment.

Now, really, and truly, I am very happy for her and her husband. I wouldn't wish this journey on anyone. But, I got a little jealous and annoyed! After all we've been through, isn't it enough to share the limelight with both of our perfect little brothers? Couldn't it have taken her maybe just one month longer so we, who are the oldest in the family, wouldn't have to have the youngest baby? Although, even though BIL's girlfriend is due the third week in June, as in just over three months to go, they are still not public with the news! She is so much in denial, she's letting life happen around her, and refuses to make any decisions. BIL did rent a house right down the street from us, and is hoping she will move in there with him. It will be fun to have them so close...if she decides to stick around, which we still don't know for sure.

In any case, my other bitter reaction was in saying to Hubby that under no circumstances is a joint baby shower with A in any way ok with me. I absolutely refuse. Do I sound like a bitch, or what? But I want my moment dammit! I have so few actual girlfriends. Most of the women outside of work who are local are adamantly childless by choice, and have been telling me for years that they won't come to a shower. Um, yeah, so, apparently I am a little bit sensitive about the topic.

When all is said and done, it will be really wonderful for Violetta to have 2 cousins and a second cousin who are essentially the same age as her. It really will be a lot of fun, if not a bit chaotic at next year's Christmas party. But yes, once an infertile, always an infertile. I guess you just never know when the bitter is going to strike!