No DVD in the SUV

This post is part of the PAIL Monthly theme post: Screen Time.

No DVD in the SUV. This has been a mantra Hubby and I repeated, long before we were married as we would make trips west on the Mass Pike toward New York to visit my family, and see those eerily glowing screens hanging down from mini van ceilings. Will we be able to live up to it? It's hard to say

We are TV people. We have three TVs in the house at the moment. Each one has a TiVO. One of those is a dual tuner. Yes. We can tape 4 different things at the same time, as long as one of them is over the airwaves and not cable. I have recorded various soap operas literally every week day of my life since high school. (Right now, just GH, but at one time, I was keeping up with three a day!) Hubby winds down for the evening after I'm already asleep by watching YouTube and bad movies on his laptop with headphones in bed.

TV people. I'm telling you. Seriously.

But yet, we want to keep Luigi away from it for as long as possible. As many of you had already written, I'd rather him use his imagination, make up games, be an artist, go outside to play, sing songs silly songs on road trips instead of demanding a video to be good in the car. I have seen small children so mesmerized by cartoons that it is frightening. And the whole concept of video games...I almost can't even go there. I was recently waiting for the elevator in my OB's building, and a woman got off the elevator with her three elementary ages children, each with a Nintendo DS, tripping over each other and their own feet as they walked like zombies down the corridor because they couldn't put their games down.

We are clearly both opposed to video games. Hubby feels a bit more strongly about TV than I do. I think there may be a time and a place for the TV. Like Sunday football games for example, which I think may be key to maintaining a relationship with our childless friends. A little music competition show every now and then to encourage a love of music. But I do have to watch the soap opera exposure for sure. My earliest memories of Days of Our Loves can be traced back to when I was 3 years old. And for a long time I used to think that in some point in every one's life, they would be shot, kidnapped, and their house would burn down - it was only a matter of time as to when. And cartoons. I'm not a fan. Those seem to be the programs that turn children into zombies the most.

I think C.hon said it well when she wrote about the responsibility being on us, as the parent, to engage our children in activities other than the TV and video games. If I want Luigi to be creating, I need to encourage it. On rainy days, my mom would spend house with me cutting shapes out of construction paper, and I would glue them together to make collages. That's not something a toddler can do on their own. Perhaps as Luigi gets older, TV can be used as a treat, or a reward. But I think I'm on the same page as many when I say I don't want to use it as a baby sitter. (of course, you never know what sort of child you will have that may cause you to eat your words some day, right?)

Another interesting, and fascinating aspect of screen time is the concept of video chats. Without Skype and Facetime, I would not have a relationship with my niece who lives in England, and I see once or twice a year if I am lucky. It is the most precious thing in the world to see her face get huge on the screen and realize that she is kissing the image of me on the screen. Or trying to give me a sip of tea. Lady C and my mom regularly sing and dance together over Facetime. It is invaluable for families who are far away. I think it is far more important to have a close relationship with your extended family than to avoid this type of screen exposure. It is the way of the modern world, and to avoid that type of communication is definitely leaving a void in the education of modern communication.

At the same time, I hope I will never bring Luigi to a family back yard BBQ on a beautiful 4th of July where there is an enormous yard to run around and play in, and hand him my iPhone so he can sit in the corner of the deck and watch a movie instead of socializing and playing with his family. I could see scenarios where this could be a useful distraction...out to eat in a not so family restaurant for example. But never when the alternative is a yard to run around in.

And so it seems that the answer to the question of screen time is complex and multi-layered. The end result really is about how much we as parents choose to engage our children vs. use technology as a pacifier to keep them out of our hair. I do believe it's possible to have a respect and appreciation for TV use. But because Hubby and I are such TV people ourselves, we might need to go a little hard core on keeping it off for awhile, or risk setting a bad example. I have no idea how my experience will pan out, but I know I want to do my best at raising a little boy who doesn't care too much about TV and will think I'm the most awesome mom their every was when I finally cave and get him a video game for Christmas 16 years from now! I'll be sure to keep you posted on how it turns out.