Book Two

A lot of bloggers question what to do with their blog after they get those two pink lines. It is a time of excitement and disbelief that our dreams might finally be coming true. It is a time of intense fear that they won't. It is a time of guilt, sadness for and a feeling of responsibility towards the community within which we write. It is a time of transition. 

I have always known I would want to keep this blog going, and transition into life off the Island of IF (to reference Melissa Ford's book), to continue to document my journey through pregnancy and into motherhood. I'm not sure I thought this far ahead when I chose the title of my blog, but it does seem that it lends to longevity (unless of course, I have a boy in which case the title might have to change to Luigi Limoncello!) The word "Chronicles" implies a series of stories organized by chapters or books. I think the ttc phase was long enough to be considered a book in and of itself, so I'm going to consider this pregnancy the second book of the story.

Of course, I feel a tremendous connection, gratitude and responsibility to this community. I will always be a part of it. I truly believe that I couldn't have made it this far with out all of you. I know it's a really tough time for some of you out there, and you may want to stop reading or following. Trust me. I understand. Only days before my positive beta, I was thinking I might have to take a break from all of the pregnant and new mommy blogs that I've been reading for so long. But I have to tell you all, I was completely surprised that in the days after my BFP, I actually gained three followers. You ladies are amazing. I have since lost only one. And like I said. I get it. I don't even "follow" anyone I add to my reader anymore so I don't have to worry about hurting feelings if I decided not to anymore. 

I think we are all well aware I am in the early chapters of Book Two right now. It's way to early to tell if this book will have a happy ending. (Please, oh please, let it! I can't even tell you all how nervous I am for my first ultrasound next Tuesday!) I still need you. I still need all the love, support and advice. I'm glad I've kept reading all of those who got off the island before me, hard though it's been at times. I've gathered so much valuable information about what to expect from pregnancy, labor and child birth, and early motherhood to help prepare me for the coming chapters. 

And, I think I still have a lot to offer all of you. After 4 clomid cycles (1 natural, 3 IUIs), 2.5 injectable IUIs, 3 IVFs and a year in a Resolve peer group, I guess I have to consider myself somewhat of a veteran around these parts. One of the unanticipated benefits of starting this blog is the ability to share information that I've gathered on this journey in the hopes that it might help others who follow behind me. For example, I probably haven't said it in awhile...for those of you who are early in treatments, please don't waste as much time as I did stuck in IUI land. The success rates are shockingly low. If there is any hint of a sperm issue, move on to IVF, and possibly ICSI asap. Easier said, that done, I know. But the things I saw at the resolve conference last fall made me feel like I had wasted nine months of my life on something that would never ever work. 

Lastly, with sensitivity toward the world in which I write, I do plan to use this blog to document my pregnancy. I'm thinking specific pregnancy related updates will be weekly, and will have the word "weeks" in the title, or some other warning near the top, so you'll be able to easily skip those if needed. I will probably post belly shots, but I'll put them at the end, so you'll have to scroll down if you want to see them. I will probably add a ticker, because I have found it to be a useful warning that this is now a pregnancy blog (oh please, let Tuesday confirm that this will stay a pregnancy blog....freaking out, seriously!) and one that some might not be in the mood to start reading. 

We are the best and the worst support for each other. We are uniquely qualified to understand each other like no one else can. But some of us will move on faster that others, and some of will have to choose a different path, and that can be incredibly difficult to deal with. I am eternally grateful for all the support and hope you decide to stay with me through the end of Book Two and beyond!