Oh golly gee, I have to pee,
'Cause if I don't, I'll go crazy.
I need to know what is to be.
Pretty please, I want a baby.
* * *
One more day. That's right. I am testing tomorrow. Beta is Monday, but I can't wait any longer. You ay remember that I had wanted to test on Sunday all along, thinking I'd have a day without needing to see people to sit with my news either way. But then, Hubby's Grandparent's anniversary was planned, and I was going to be with family all day.
Well, unfortunately, poor Gramma has be afflicted with ecoli! She should be fine, ultimately, but is feeling quite under the weather right now, so the party has been cancelled.
Meaning, Hubby and I have no where to be tomorrow. I convinced him that I needed to test. Not only to have the day, but because I have a lot to get done on Monday at work, and would have been completely useless. He tried to convince me then to wait until Tuesday! He clearly doesn't understand the issue. What ever the news, I will be able to focus and get my work done...as long as I know that that news is. But, having to get shit done while still waiting just doesn't work.
He admitted that he's a bit nervous to know the answer. He wants this family, but he feels a lot of stress being the man, making nearly twice as much as I do, needing to pay for college and a wedding someday.
I told him, that even if we get good news on Monday (or tomorrow!) we still have to wait for doubling betas, yolk sacs and fetal tubes, heart beats and NT scans, a healthy delivery. The list goes on and on. There is too much to worry about in the next 8 months to bother worrying about college in 18 years and a wedding in 30!
Anyway, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I am optimistic, but guarded. I read back through my posts from last time. I have experienced a lot of the same things, but not all. I had cramping around implantation both times, but noticed spotting just this time. Last time, I wrote that I felt nothing starting about 4 days before beta. This time, I feel like the twinges are decreasing in intensity, but I still feel them. This time, I'm also feeling a lot more very low level nausea. I don't remember this from last time. Who knows what it al means. Hopefully something good!
Oh Violetta, we are so ready for you!
Today, it is going to be a beautiful 80 degree day! Crazy for October in New England. I am going to finish planting my bulbs, and we're having friends over for a cookout later tonight. Hopefully it will keep my mind occupied fairly well until tomorrow.
We'll see!
I have everything crossed for you- and I am praying for a BFP!!
ReplyDeleteYeah, the hubs tend to not quite "get it..." I find. I love that he's worried so far in the future but not about the immediate. Maybe that's a good thing. He knows the immediate will be OK.
ReplyDeleteI'm crossing all I've got for you for a BFP tomorrow morning!!
guarded optimism is a great way to look at it. but when you do get your BFP allow yourself unbridled enthusiasm and excitement, even if it is just for a moment. yes there are a lot hurdles to pass before a baby is in any of our arms, but you deserve to not have it overshadow all of the amazing things that will be happening to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI have everything crossed for you and am wishing you nothing but positive vibes!!!!!
Sounds like you have a good plan. I think it is better to know something sooner than later and the HPT are pretty sensitive. It is so nervewracking! I did not feel like it had worked for me, was totally surprised to get a BFP. Good luck - Fingers crossed!
ReplyDeleteCome on Violetta! Sooooo hoping that she makes her first appearance tomorrow with a BFP! :)
ReplyDeleteLet's go V!!!
ReplyDeleteTons of luck!!! Your symptoms sound very promising. I can't wait to see your POAS results.
ReplyDeleteGood luck, my fingers are crossed!
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