Monday

Yup, well, this day is turning out to be just at thrilling as last Friday was. Maybe I really should use my free time figuring out how to blog text around in a spiral. It would certainly occupy my mind.

Beta is one week from today. By this time in the day, I would imagine I will have my answer. Well, I will in fact, because I do plan to test again at home that morning so I can be prepared. I really wanted to test on Sunday. I figure 15dpo should be long enough for something to show, right? And how nice, to have the day at home to take in the news, whatever it may be. I'm not lucky enough to have Colum.bus Day off. My husbands thinks that our industry sold it's soul to the devil traded C Day for the day after Thanksgiving many moons ago.

Right, so testing on Sunday. Great idea, right? Until I learned that we have to go spend the afternoon with Hubby's family celebrating his grandparent's 65th anniversary. Which, don't get me wrong, is an amazing accomplishment that should be celebrated. But on that day, of all days, I am going to be in no shape to put on a happy face and make small talk with 20 of Hubby's closest relatives in some bad old-person's Italian/Seafood restaurant that serves baked-stuffed scallops as their specialty, and takes 4 hours to get through a meal, in a dark dining room with too much wood and red vinyl, and not enough day light, on a day when it's supposed to be sunny and beautiful and in the 70s, and just happens to be the day I wanted to find out if I'm pregnant!

But I'm sure you would all agree, that right before this event is not the time to find out the answer to that question! Maybe, if I don't pee the whole time at the restaurant, I can save up a good pee and test when I get home?

It's the madness...the madness of boredom I tell you. Look how great I did all weekend with plenty of stuff to do. I'm beginning to see the logic in people who take leave for their entire cycle. I wouldn't be of much use, even if I did have something to do. But it would be easier, without a doubt.

So, on another topic...crinone. Last time, barely an issue. This time, I'm definitely getting the mess. I felt like almost my entire dose hit the toilet 3 hours after I put it in yesterday. It's a little bit freaky. I worry, should I put in more? And today, I'm getting little drips and drabs, that are definitely tinged light brownish. I'm trying to remain optimistic and think, this must be from implantation bleeding that goes with the cramps I've been feeling, right? Right?!

Also today, something that almost looks like ewcm on the tissue. Wasn't quite expecting to see that at this point. And by the way, the fact that we are all such toilet paper crime scene investigators really is somewhat comical, in a I don't know what else to do, so I'll laugh kind of way.

Lastly, last time, I was pretty well stopped up, you know, digestively speaking. I never took the recommended stool softener, but I was downing the bene.fiber like there was no tomorrow. This time, I am the opposite. Mostly moving just fine, and sometimes having to make a run for it. Who knows what that means.

OK, before I get back to work and try to fill the next 4 hours until I get to leave and go to some horrible networking event, I will share the story of the "Mad Hormonal Woman vs the Smoke Detector."

Saturday night, when Hubby and I got home around 9:30, I was exhausted, so I went up to bed. I red a chapter of my book and then turned out the light and snuggled into the pillow.

beep

Seriously? Another smoke detector that needs batteries? Maybe if I just ignore it, I'll fall asleep, and Hubby will hear it and change it.

Sure enough, a few minutes went by, and I didn't hear it again. Whew.

Some hours later, Hubby was in bed now too.

beep


But again, there is usually a second beep within about a minute. I was barely awake and again thought I'd be better off ignoring it. Why I ever thought that was a good idea, I will never know. I'm about as good of a sleeper as the Princess and the Pea.

I should also tell you, living in a split level house amounts to a lot of these devices. Especially when you add in the carbon monoxide detectors to the mix. Bordering on the one stairwell that connects our main floor to the two bedrooms to our bedroom, there are no less than 6 of these devices. Have fun just trying to figure out which one is doing the beeping to begin with!

beep




beep


beep


beep
beep

By 6 in the morning (it was still pitch black mind you, so it felt like the middle of the night) the beeping was too frequent to ignore. I rolled out of bed and grabbed the step ladder which is still in our room from when I painted, and headed out to the landing, with every intention of taking down every single device until I was sure which one was the culprit.

As I had my hands on the one out side the bathroom

beep

from the one behind be a the base of the stair in the living room. I grabbed on, and tried to pull it loose. And tried,

beep

and pulled

beep

and twisted.

beep

By this point I was shaking. I yelled to Hubby..."how the hell do I get this thing down???"

"You have to twist it!"

beep

I'm pretty sure I was twisting. Nothing was happening. In a fit of hysteria, I screamed, the scream of an insane woman "you have to come down here and do this!!!" And then I stomped into the bathroom. Hubby came down, and took the offending device off the ceiling.

beep

I emerged, enraged from the bathroom..."you have to take out the battery! where is it?!"

"On the floor." I couldn't see it.

"WHERE on the floor?!?"

beep

I snatched it up. He had in fact taken the battery out. Of course he did. That is what you are supposed to do.

"Why the hell is is still beeping?" I roared. "I'm going to smash it with a hammer!" This is the line Hubby found especially entertaining. He told me to throw it outside. I opted for wrapping it in a blanket, and shoving it under the covers on the couch.

Finally...silence.

Exhausted, shaking, and nearly in tears, I stumbled back up the stairs. But still, I made Hubby show me on the one outside the bathroom how the hell he had gotten it down. "Oh, well, there's this little pin you have to take out, and then you twist it."

A little pin? Are you f-ing kidding me?