To me, this is the day I take my last bcp for IVF #2.
You can call me un-American. You can call me selfish. You can even call me superficial.
What I am is a woman who has spent over 20% of her life in the last ten years focused on nothing more intensely than on her attempts to create a family. I am a woman who has fought with every ounce of emotional strength over the past three months to pull herself out of the depression brought on by a failed IVF, in order to prepare in the best way possible for the next cycle. I am a woman who is starting to feel like she's actually winning the battle against the darkness with a renewed creative energy and a positive outlook that is not giving in to her husband's ongoing struggle with depression.
I am a woman who has fought way too hard to get to where she is—feeling creative, peaceful, calm, inspired—to allow herself to go back to that dark, dark place that was the month of September ten years ago.
I just won't do it.
I need to be selfish. I need to put myself first. I need to be a superficial infertile.
And so, I am going to tell you about my next home improvement project.
Next weekend, I'm planning to paint our master bedroom. I just have to pick a color. Thoughts?
Pardon the half made bed. Wouldn't want to disturb the kitties! You can see that our quilt has just about any color you can imagine. I'm going for something from purple to berry. I was really trying to do something spicier colored for Hubby, but after we painted the living room teal instead of purple, I'm craving a purple bedroom. I need to have at least one purple room, right? But please, let me know what you all think...
I love that quilt- I like the second one if from the left and the two on the far right!
ReplyDeleteI found myself watching sept 11 stuff this morning and I have to agree with you, it is just so raw and overwhelming. It doesn't make you superficial to want to protect yourself.
I chose to have a media-free day today, it's just something I also did not need.
ReplyDeleteI like the second one from the left. Also, we have matching cats - the black one.
I vote a very periwinkle purple. You know that friends episode, near the very end of the series when they're moving out of Monica and Rachel's (and everyone else who's lived there) and someone says "has this aprtment always been purple" and you the viewer think the same thing? I don't even think either of you will notice the color after a while. Pick what you want.
ReplyDeleteSorry, 3 from the left!
ReplyDeleteHmmm... I'm not a fan of purple rooms to be honest. They often read as gray to me, and cold. Personally, I would lean toward the berry or pick up on the lovely orange in your quilt. In a bedroom you want something that will look inviting, cozy, and romantic (because we infertiles are ALL about the romance, don't you know? ;) Something that makes your skin tones warm and attractive. (the same w dining rooms, purple makes food look nasty). I guess I'm saying a redder purple vrs a blue purple.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same about 9/11. After 10 years watching the families of the victims seems intrusive and self indulgent. They are still grieving, leave them alone, the rest of us should be moving on.
I could barely watch any of the 9/11 coverage. It was all so hard and heartwrenching. Don't feel bad for wanting to feel good.
ReplyDeleteJust say a prayer for the families and live your life.