How IF Changed My Gender Reveal

I never wanted to know ahead of time. I always called that moment with the doctor calls out "It's a Boy!" or "It's a Girl!" one of life's surprises. Why on earth would I want to miss out on such a wonderful moment? For some reason, I was never overly concerned about creating a gender neutral nursery or ending up with too many yellow and green clothes. (although I'm really not a fan of yellow, so I'm not sure I really thought that through.)

Aside from wanting that magical Hollywood surprise moment, we are clearly aware that I have envisioned my life with a girl. I always thought that if I waited until that little baby was laid down on my chest for the first time, the excitement of meeting him or her would far out weigh any potential disappointment in that moment that he wasn't a girl. Because, I can't help but feel a little bit guilty that there is a little disappointment. (which we've already discussed, and as so many of you pointed out, it won't be long before I can't imagine it any other way, and I believe this is true).

The main point is, that waiting nine months for one of life's most amazing surprises seemed totally worth it to me. I was willing to finish the nursery later, accept the yellow clothes, all of it.

Until that nine month wait turned into over three years. And I decided I had waited damn long enough for one of life's greatest surprises.

Now, I want to take the time I have before Luigi arrives to envision my life as the mother to a son (am I going to have a son? my god, that is such a surreal concept, I mean, not just the boy thing, but the child of any gender in general!) I want to have the time to create the most amazing little boy room I can possibly think of, and to argue about what adorable little boy names make the best 50 year-old man CEO names with Hubby.

But, I can't help but feel that it was all a bit anti-climatic.

Before I had convinced my self that I need to know ASAP, Hubby always used to say to me, "It's still a great surprise, it doesn't matter when you find out." But you know what, it's much less dramatic in a dark room when an ultrasound tech says "OK, I'm near the baby's butt, and I think I see a penis. Let me take another look. Oh, yup, those are definitely boy parts right there." Somehow not the same as a delivery room "It's a Boy!"

In an attempt to recapture some of the magic lost by an anti-climatic gender reveal, and the slow starting excitement of pregnancy after IVF, we have decided to so a little gender reveal for our moms. I have two boxes all wrapped up at home containing helium balloons that say "New Little Prince" (after all, as Christina pointed out, royalty loves purple!). My mom is on the way into town for the weekend, and will open hers tonight so we can start shopping tomorrow! I just told her she has to wait until Hubby gets home around 9pm tonight and she almost flipped. The suspense is truly killing her. MIL gets hers tomorrow. I think it will be fun.

(but the perfectionist in me is stressing out that I should have gotten a boxes with lids instead of flaps so the balloon would float out better. Now I'm afraid the balloons will get stuck. I know, I'm ridiculous...)