Wow, That's Exciting!

This seems to be the standard reaction I get when I manage to share the fact that Hubby and I are planning on IVF this spring. (Lupron starts three weeks after AF shows up, which should be any day now, judging by my sore boobs and headache! Isn't it funny how sometimes we can't wait for her to show up?). And yes, I have managed to share this fact, if in extremely vague fashion, with both my mother and SIL.

In London, one morning, I was stretching in the living room because my back was killing me from all the walking. SIL walked-in, and whatever she said prompted me to say that I was going to start acupuncture when we got back. Later that evening, she and I took Lady C to the park to go on the swings. SIL asked how my back was feeling and if that was why I was going to try acupuncture. She then said that she had done it and really liked it....the reason why...she was impatient to become a mother. She then confessed that she'd had at least one chemical, and suspected more. The month after she started acupuncture, she conceived Lady C. Naturally of course, because I expect nothing less from my perfect brother and his beautiful wife. But it was somehow reassuring to know that it wasn't as easy for them as it looked. It's amazing to think how many people out there have probably struggled, and never shared that fact. I confessed that I too had a chemical (neglecting to mention that it was on her birthday the year before) and that we would be starting IVF this spring.

"Wow! That's Exciting!" was her response.

Yeah, I guess it is. I guess I haven't really thought about it in those terms very often. I've thought about it in terms of, I can't freaking believe we are actually here? Why does everything have to be so hard? But you know what, it is actually freakin' exciting! With every BFP story I read from you ladies out there, and there have been a lot of them, I get more excited and more hopeful that it's going to be my turn this time.

I didn't go into to any details with SIL, but admitted that was why I was starting acupuncture. She ended up loaning me a book she'd found helpful, and mentioned a website she would visit during the two week wait. I confessed to starting a blog, but didn't tell her where she could find it. And all the while, we watched the adorable little Lady C laughing, bouncing and kicking her feet in excitement to be on the swing while she watched all the other kids play. God, I want one! I was really glad we chatted.

Ok, well, the point of this post was to talk about IVF being exciting. My second excited reaction came from the acupuncturist, which was really sweet. She talked about how far IVF has come, and how successful it is. Again, a reaction that caught me off guard. Then, I thought, well she works in a Mind Body Wellness center (yes Kerry, the Domar Center...Dr. Domar's name seems to come up everywhere...and it's literally 8 minutes from my house, I had to check it out), so of course, she probably has a positive attitude about anything. But still.

Lastly, on the phone with my mom this weekend, I mentioned having some appointments which took me out of work. She asked if I wanted to tell her about the appointments, so I took a deep breath and said we were doing IVF this spring.

"Oh, that's so exciting!"

Again? Really? I guess this is the universe telling me that it's ok to be excited! (is it ok to be impatient too?  cause I really just want to get this show on the road!) In any case, even though I'm not going into the details, it's felt good to admit to a few people what the future holds for us. I feel lighter. And because of that, I really do think I am ready and able to get excited!