I am a Miserable Bitch

It's Day 28. I am not in control of my emotions and I've been acting like a miserable bitch for days.

I've been patient, since finding out a little over two weeks ago that our fifth IUI cycle was cancelled. But I have about had it. More often than not, my cycles are 27 days. Which means AF should have arrived today. But as of yet, there is no sign. And aside from a few slight cramps here and there, the only symptom I have is the bitchiness. Can we please get on with it already? I am really ready to get this one last IUI show on the road.

My mom has been visiting for the long weekend. She leaves tomorrow morning. We bought a house six months ago, and every so often, she comes to visit and helps us with some big house project. I'm easily distracted, and she's good at motivating me. But, I've been anxious because I haven't really talked to her about what is going on with us. She's dropped millions of hints giving me an opening, and I just can't do it. It's not that I don't want her to know what's going on, it's more that I just can't open myself up to feel all the emotions. Even if it might ultimately be beneficial.

So, we've had a crazy, busy, productive weekend here. We unpacked our entire book collection onto some new shelves Hubby and I bought and assembled last weekend. We installed the living room window treatment which has been causing me great stress for months. We sorted, purged, and stored stuff away in our attic, organized my closet, did loads and loads of laundry, and Hubby finished installing a countertop we added to our kitchen. The whole time, though my house is becoming more organized an beautiful right before my eyes, I've been cranky, snappy and bitchy. It's a good thing my mom and Hubby love me so much.

This afternoon, Mom asked me if I wanted to tell her why I was so sad. I said no, but Hubby would fill her in later. I don't want her to worry too much, at least because she doesn't know. But there is really nothing to tell her. It's unexplained. In any case, I have the most wonderful husband in the world, and he just had a chat with my mom while I was in the shower. I have yet to hear the details. But hopefully, she can stop being too concerned and I can keep from becoming a blithering mess.

And despite all my bitchiness, our house is really starting to come together, which does inspire me to keep going, and move on to other rooms. Hubby works incredibly hard to keep me happy, making the improvements that I dream up, making endless trips up and down the stairs of our split level, and all the while telling me that I'm doing great, even though all I can do is snip and snap.

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Update. The three of us are back from a lovely dinner out, and are relaxing on the couch enjoying a movie on Mom's last night here. I'm feeling more calm at the moment, and hoping it stays with me into the week. (I have my doubts, but I'll take it for the moment!) I thought I'd share a few pictures of what we were up to this weekend. 

New window treatment and freshly painted walls. (The green chair is in desperate need of a slip cover!)

This is "before" we painted the room a few weeks ago. The rest of the house is this horrible pale yellow color.
I can't wait to keep painting!

This is our new library wall in the basement family room. Here's hoping we have to downsize my magazine collection in favor of children's books some day. We still need a new floor, and paint on the wood panels, but it's getting there.