Exuberant and Useless

My exuberant cycle has now rendered me completely useless. I have 10 follicles which is apparently way too high for a responsible IUI, and my estrogen levels dropped from Tuesday to Thursday, which apparently means that my body is not keeping up with the follicle production, and we cannot convert to IVF. We have strict instructions to use barrier protection from now until I get my next period, because it would be "too dangerous" otherwise. Am I insane to think I don't give a shit, give me four babies all at once? And by the way, do you really think, that after almost two years with only one chemical pregnancy, we're really going to manage to fertilize and implant too many babies in one fell swoop. Wouldn't extra eggs just give the swimmers more to aim at right now? God, this is SO frustrating.

What would you all do? Would you be responsible, or throw caution to the wind and go for the family. Hubby and I are both such rule followers, not to mention the fact that we're both tired, burnt out, and recovering from colds anyway, that we'll probably just say, eh, why break out the condoms when we can just take the month off now anyway. A doctor's excuse not to have to force the issue. Cause let's face it, just because we're ovulating, doesn't mean we're always in the mood, right then, right?!. But I am curious to know if anyone would be tempted.

I just hate feeling like we don't get to try. Hubby is trying to convince me that we did get to try, and we just weren't lucky this time in a different, earlier way than usual. I suppose he has a point, in that I don't have to two-week wait this time, and can look forward to my period instead of dread it. But I said to him..."You gotta play to win the lotto right? This feels like I walked into the store with my $5 and they were sold out of tickets."

So, the plan for next time is back to Gonal F 112.5. It was only 150 that caused the exuberance. Hopefully there will be no reason to put off the next cycle. We have plans to go to London to visit my brother, sister-in-law and my niece, Lady C for the first week in April. We should be able to fit this next cycle in before that. Then, if need be, finally have a real IVF consultation with the RE before heading across the pond for a little getaway. If we're still TTCing by then, it will be time for the big guns, because I will be 36 when we get back, and my clock is ticking so loud today it might keep me awake tonight.

Thanks for all the thoughts over the past few days ladies. I know I am rambling right now. It's such a roller coaster, and it's unbelievably helpful to know there are people out there riding the ups and downs with me.

Now, I am going to sit on the couch with my ripe and rotting eggs and a drink and watch me some American Idol dammit.