Dad and I are on our way to Puerto Rico today, for a little babymoon! We are very much looking forward to a week of rest and relaxation in the sun. Boy could I use it. I am tired all the time these days. I hope that you inherit my love of the beach, and all things related to being in the water (oceans or pools) and not your dads fear of flying and general travel anxiety!
The biggest excitement of our week leading up to this vacation was that we go to see you, Violetta! Your little heart was beating away, flickering away like a blinking light. What a beautiful sight. And, you appear to be an over achiever already, measuring at one day ahead of schedule. So, according to the sonographer, you are due on October 13. I'm imagining many Halloween themed costume birthday parties in your future! Yes, I'm hoping you'll love Halloween as much as I do too.
This week you are a half an inch long, the size of a raspberry, a blueberry or a coffee bean. I'm thinking that could be an interesting ice cream flavor. We get to see you again when we are back from our vacation, and I can't wait to see how big you'll be then!
2.26.2012
2.24.2012
Randomness on a Dreary Friday
On this Friday before my week's vacation, bullet points are about all I can muster due to the vacation brain and the exhaustion. So, here ya go...
- Elphaba has decided to create a community for women who are Pregnant/Parenting after Infertility or Loss. (PAIL). Stop on by and check it out if you would like to know more. I think it's a great idea since so many of us struggle with how we fit in after that BFP. It might feel a bit early for me to sign up for such a thing, but I'm choosing to move forward with optimism that this pregnancy will result in a take home Violetta. I have no reason not to think so, right?
- Speaking of this pregnancy, man am I exhausted! I've been waking up three times a night to pee, having a hard time getting comfortable to sleep, mostly due to my shoulders which haven't acted up in awhile, and getting out of bed. Wow. It's hard.
- I feel not nauseous, but just gross, unsettled, heart burny most of the time. As long as I keep eating, chewing tums and sucking on ginger altoids, everything is fine. For the past few days, I have had to eat my cereal earlier in my morning routine than normal though, because everything was not going to be ok otherwise. Oh, and the burping is out. of. control!
- I am completely ecstatic that I even have the experience to need to write the above two bullet points!
- After a week of PIO, my hips are still so freaking itchy, I can barely stand it. Yesterday, I was in a team meeting, and I almost had to run to the bathroom just so I could pull my pants down and scratch. Seriously. Scratching through my pants just doesn't cut it.
- How early is too early for maternity pants? I was not a slender girl to begin with. On an average day, one might guess that I am four months pregnant anyway. The difference is that on an average day, I have the ability to suck it in! Trust me, this is no longer an option. I have one pair of jeans that still fits without some modification, and a few pairs of pants with elastic waist bands, and lots of dresses. But I am definitely struggling. It's a good think I'm on my way to the beach for a week where I will only really have to wear a nice stretchy bathing suit all day!
- I on my way to the beach on Sunday! We're off to Puerto Rico on a 5:30 am flight. We have to leave our house at 3:30. My god, what have we done? I'm trusting that the beach on the other side will be worth it. We're leaving so early because we have to drive about 45 minutes outside of San Juan to get to the resort, and most of the flights arrived after dinner. We didn't want to drive in the dark!
- I have a new favorite sandwich at my local deli. Yes, I am a submarine sandwich kind of girl. Born and raised on roast beef with russian. Yum! Giving up deli meats leaves me lacking in a serious way. But there is this sub on a french baguette...just veggies, all of them, cucumbers, roasted red pepers, pickles, olives, etc. with cheddar cheese and russian. I've had it three days in a row. Heaven .
- This has got to be enough randomness for anyone to read through today. Happy Friday all!
2.21.2012
One Perfect Little Flicker
Just a quick note to say that our ultrasound this morning went really well. The tech found everything right away, and we got to see Violetta's tiny little heart flickering away on the screen. She measured at 6 weeks 3 days, which is one day ahead, giving us a due date of 10/13. And her heart was going strong at 113. I'm still in disbelief, but it's pretty darn amazing!
2.20.2012
Tagged Again
I must be the slow kid on the playground or something, because it seems I am it again. This time I've been tagged by the lovely Miss Conception. Since I just did one of these, and tagged a bunch of you, I'm just going to answer Miss C's 12 questions and leave it at that this time. But, feel free to answer her questions as well in the comments if you are in the mood.
1. How long have you been with your significant other and where did you meet? Hubby and I are coming up on six years since our first date this March. We met online through Chemistry.com, an off-shoot of Match, which is personality matching site, similar to eHarmony, but not nearly as limiting in their population. it was pretty cool to see side-by-side comparisons of various personality traits.
2. What is your favorite restaurant and what do you get there? Hmm, I'm not sure I have one favorite restaurant these days. But, a meal that does stand out that I've probably had ever time I've been to this one particular place is enchiladas with mole sauce, with table side prepared guacamole as an appetizer from a place called Olé in Cambridge.
3. What do you wish you were better at? Putting stuff away. I am constantly feeling like my house is a mess and I can't keep up. But I know that a huge part of this problem is that I'm really bad a putting stuff away when I'm done with it. So, then I have to run around the house like a maniac every few weeks an battle all of the clutter I've created. Part of the problem, though, is that even though we've been here for a year and a half, we're still working on where exactly "away" is for all of our crap. Or maybe we just have too much crap.
I also wish I was better at making conversation with people I didn't know, like in a cocktail party setting. I am terrible at this! Terrible!
4. What do you like most about yourself? My creativity, and my silliness (though I do need to reclaim some of that light hearted silliness that has been squashed over the past few years). I love that my house does not look like the home of anyone else I know. It's quirky, and colorful, and me.
5. Where are you at in your journey to become a parent and what is a brief summary of your IF history? Six weeks pregnant, and freaking out about my ultrasound on Tuesday! It's been nearly three years since I threw away the bcps. Since then, after ten months trying naturally, we had a chemical pregnancy, and started seeking treatment shortly there after. That included 4 cycles of clomid (one natural, 3 with IUI), 4 cycles of injectables with IUI, one of which tried to convert to IVF and was ultimately cancelled, and 3 IVFs with no frozen embryos. So far it looks like the third time was the charm. I'm praying (if I do such a thing) that this remains the case. So, um, yeah, I consider myself a veteran in these parts.
6. If you could move to another country, where would it be? Italy because I love all things about Italy. Or maybe England, which is also a really cool place, and I could be closer to my little brother, sil, their daughter and son (coming in June...not sure I've told you all yet, I'm having a nephew!)
7. Who is your celebrity crush? Male and Female. Robert Downey Jr. and Thandie Newton. I kind of fell in love with her when she was on ER for awhile married to Carter. And, well, aside from the fact that I have a weakness for dark, tortured men, when Robert Downey Jr. sang River on Ally McBeal, that was it. I was done. And now, Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes. I can barely stand it!
8. What is your dream job? I would love to design stuff, like life stuff, housewares, wrapping paper, cards, fabric, etc. Like Martha, but not like Martha. More like this woman, Tricia Guild who's company is called Designer's Guild. She's kinda my idol.
9. What charity/cause would you give half your lottery winnings to should you win? Resolve, or other organizations that would either help fund infertility treatments, or lobby for insurance coverage for everyone.
10. Who do you miss? I miss my girlfriends. None of my close girlfriends live near by. The closest one is an hour away, and I get to see her about once a season. The others are much further. I don't really have someone to run out shopping with on a Saturday afternoon while Hubby has other plans. I used to have more local girlfriends, but the ditched me when I was too busy to hangout while completely my masters thesis. I wish some of you were closer.
11. What sound calms you or makes you happy? The ocean, the rain, a baby's laugh, jingle bells on a door knob that ring when the door opens (my grandparents had bells on the front door year round. that sound always makes me think of them)
12. Do you have a pet? If so, tell us about them. I have two cats that came with my Hubby. Siegfried and Roy. Ziggy is a gray tabby. I've never been a cat person, but I always love gray kitties. He is the sweetest, shyest boy. He lets me pick him up and rock him like he is my little baby. Roy is a little more aloof, and does not often put up with me shooshing him. I usually have to bribe him with treats to be able to pick him up, and then he'll squirm until I let him go. They are both very skittish as they were feral, but they are incredibly gentle and aggressive toward us (only each other on occasion!)
1. How long have you been with your significant other and where did you meet? Hubby and I are coming up on six years since our first date this March. We met online through Chemistry.com, an off-shoot of Match, which is personality matching site, similar to eHarmony, but not nearly as limiting in their population. it was pretty cool to see side-by-side comparisons of various personality traits.
2. What is your favorite restaurant and what do you get there? Hmm, I'm not sure I have one favorite restaurant these days. But, a meal that does stand out that I've probably had ever time I've been to this one particular place is enchiladas with mole sauce, with table side prepared guacamole as an appetizer from a place called Olé in Cambridge.
3. What do you wish you were better at? Putting stuff away. I am constantly feeling like my house is a mess and I can't keep up. But I know that a huge part of this problem is that I'm really bad a putting stuff away when I'm done with it. So, then I have to run around the house like a maniac every few weeks an battle all of the clutter I've created. Part of the problem, though, is that even though we've been here for a year and a half, we're still working on where exactly "away" is for all of our crap. Or maybe we just have too much crap.
I also wish I was better at making conversation with people I didn't know, like in a cocktail party setting. I am terrible at this! Terrible!
4. What do you like most about yourself? My creativity, and my silliness (though I do need to reclaim some of that light hearted silliness that has been squashed over the past few years). I love that my house does not look like the home of anyone else I know. It's quirky, and colorful, and me.
5. Where are you at in your journey to become a parent and what is a brief summary of your IF history? Six weeks pregnant, and freaking out about my ultrasound on Tuesday! It's been nearly three years since I threw away the bcps. Since then, after ten months trying naturally, we had a chemical pregnancy, and started seeking treatment shortly there after. That included 4 cycles of clomid (one natural, 3 with IUI), 4 cycles of injectables with IUI, one of which tried to convert to IVF and was ultimately cancelled, and 3 IVFs with no frozen embryos. So far it looks like the third time was the charm. I'm praying (if I do such a thing) that this remains the case. So, um, yeah, I consider myself a veteran in these parts.
6. If you could move to another country, where would it be? Italy because I love all things about Italy. Or maybe England, which is also a really cool place, and I could be closer to my little brother, sil, their daughter and son (coming in June...not sure I've told you all yet, I'm having a nephew!)
7. Who is your celebrity crush? Male and Female. Robert Downey Jr. and Thandie Newton. I kind of fell in love with her when she was on ER for awhile married to Carter. And, well, aside from the fact that I have a weakness for dark, tortured men, when Robert Downey Jr. sang River on Ally McBeal, that was it. I was done. And now, Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes. I can barely stand it!
8. What is your dream job? I would love to design stuff, like life stuff, housewares, wrapping paper, cards, fabric, etc. Like Martha, but not like Martha. More like this woman, Tricia Guild who's company is called Designer's Guild. She's kinda my idol.
9. What charity/cause would you give half your lottery winnings to should you win? Resolve, or other organizations that would either help fund infertility treatments, or lobby for insurance coverage for everyone.
10. Who do you miss? I miss my girlfriends. None of my close girlfriends live near by. The closest one is an hour away, and I get to see her about once a season. The others are much further. I don't really have someone to run out shopping with on a Saturday afternoon while Hubby has other plans. I used to have more local girlfriends, but the ditched me when I was too busy to hangout while completely my masters thesis. I wish some of you were closer.
11. What sound calms you or makes you happy? The ocean, the rain, a baby's laugh, jingle bells on a door knob that ring when the door opens (my grandparents had bells on the front door year round. that sound always makes me think of them)
12. Do you have a pet? If so, tell us about them. I have two cats that came with my Hubby. Siegfried and Roy. Ziggy is a gray tabby. I've never been a cat person, but I always love gray kitties. He is the sweetest, shyest boy. He lets me pick him up and rock him like he is my little baby. Roy is a little more aloof, and does not often put up with me shooshing him. I usually have to bribe him with treats to be able to pick him up, and then he'll squirm until I let him go. They are both very skittish as they were feral, but they are incredibly gentle and aggressive toward us (only each other on occasion!)
2.19.2012
Six Weeks
Well Violetta, the sixth week of my pregnancy with you has been pretty uneventful. Aside from Valentine's Day on Tuesday, it was really just a week, like any other week, except for the fact that the phrase "I'm pregnant" passed through my mind on repeat every few hours. It is still a very surreal experience.
Speaking of Valentine's Day, Dad and I went to one of our favorite restaurants for dinner after work that night. It's just a simple Mexican chain, Margarita's. Sound familiar? After a few years out doing the fancy, yet somehow generic pre-fix reservations required Valentine's dinners, we've kept it simple the last few years. But, this year Dad surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of a dozen roses! I was very surprised, because he usually doesn't do flowers for this holiday, but instead just for random days throughout the year. (Which is actually pretty cool too). We had a lovely dinner, and had fun debating some names for you. Apparently, Dad thinks we really shouldn't name you something that means purple, even though I think it would be kind of perfect for a girl who is known far and wide for her love of the color!
Other than that, we've made a fair amount of progress on restocking our office after the painting project that we took on right before we found out about you. We need to get your room ready to turn into a nursery, so our plan all along has been to add the guest room function to the office, and to neaten things up by putting in some closed storage so we don't have to look at all the piles of crafting and computer supplies all the time. See, you're room is looking much emptier, (relatively speaking), don't you think?
Speaking of Valentine's Day, Dad and I went to one of our favorite restaurants for dinner after work that night. It's just a simple Mexican chain, Margarita's. Sound familiar? After a few years out doing the fancy, yet somehow generic pre-fix reservations required Valentine's dinners, we've kept it simple the last few years. But, this year Dad surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of a dozen roses! I was very surprised, because he usually doesn't do flowers for this holiday, but instead just for random days throughout the year. (Which is actually pretty cool too). We had a lovely dinner, and had fun debating some names for you. Apparently, Dad thinks we really shouldn't name you something that means purple, even though I think it would be kind of perfect for a girl who is known far and wide for her love of the color!
Other than that, we've made a fair amount of progress on restocking our office after the painting project that we took on right before we found out about you. We need to get your room ready to turn into a nursery, so our plan all along has been to add the guest room function to the office, and to neaten things up by putting in some closed storage so we don't have to look at all the piles of crafting and computer supplies all the time. See, you're room is looking much emptier, (relatively speaking), don't you think?
As for me, I'm feeling mostly fine, but definitely extremely exhausted. Your dad is a rock star and has been getting dinner ready most nights while I take a little nap after work. Yesterday I too two naps, and went to bed at 9:00pm! My stomach is a little off here and there, and I'm eating lots of small snacks as well as loving tums and ginger altoids. And, over the last few days, I've begun to notice that I've developed some butterfingers. Yes, I keep dropping things for no reason at all.
And you, my dear, I am told are now 1/4" long, the size of a pea, a blueberry or a lentil depending on who you ask, and depending on whether or not your blueberries come from Maine I guess. You're something like 10,000 times bigger than your were four weeks ago on the day you were conceived! We will finally get to see you on Tuesday, and I am counting down the minutes, or hours anyway. Less than 48 to go! Thank goodness we have Monday off for Presidents' Day. I'd never make it through that day at work. Can't wait to see you baby! I love you so much already.
2.17.2012
Open Sesame
Or should I say inject sesame since this is what Hubby and I have been doing nightly for nearly the past three weeks. Yes, I think I may have mentioned that we elected to do intramuscular progesterone this cycle as opposed to the crinone of the two previous cycles. It was a recommendation of the second opinion, and since we had never tried it, we were willing to give it a go. Hubby was amused and a little wary of the fact that the chosen oil was sesame oil. He and his best friend love to put hot sesame oil on their Asian food. He was worried it would be spicy and burn!
It's been going fairly well so far. We've been following a pretty strict process which I am going to tell you about in great detail in hopes that will help those of you who are lucky enough to follow behind me. First, I heat up the vial and my butt cheek with a heating pad (careful that the heating pad is only hitting my butt, and not my back, and is not overly warm since we don't want to cook the babies.) A nurse recommended sticking the vial in my bra, which worked for awhile, but was starting to take too long. We're also careful not to heat the oil up too much, because let's face it, injecting hot oil into your ass would not be very pleasant. But, warming the oil makes it much more viscous, and therefore it flows much more easily through the syringe, and through my muscles. The warm muscles also helps to keep the oil flowing so it doesn't pool up at the injection site.
Each night, we alternate sides from right to left. In addition to that, Hubby has sharpied out 4 dots on each side of my butt. If you imagine the upper outter quadrant of your butt as a clock, think of dots at 12, 3, 6, and 9. Each night, we go from left to right, and around the clock, so that I don't get an injection in the same place for 8 days. Hubby always puts on a fresh needle after drawing the oil into the syringe. It gets dulled when it goes through the rubber stopper in the vial, and dull syringe into ass equals pain! He then pulls the skin very taught before sticking the needle in. This has been very important as well. The few times he forgot....owwweeee!
After he withdraws the needle, he holds a gauze pad down on the area and massages with a lot of pressure for a good minute. This also helps the oil to disperse, and not form little knots under the skin.
Like I said, it's been going really well. No bruises, no knots, a little soreness now and then, But really, much better than I ever imagined. Until Tuesday, when the sides of my hips/butt like right along the leg of my underwear started to itch! There hasn't been a rash, just really itchy. Then, last night, I discovers a hive or two. Now, I've been an allergic person in the past, and usually when I get hives, there are many, not just one or too. So, I was really concerned. But, when we realized we were nearing the end of our needle supply and the bottom of our last vial of sesame oil was coming closer, I thought I'd better check with the nurse before spending money on the refill for the next 4 weeks.
Sure enough, she told me it sounded like an allergic reaction, and at this point, seeing as we made it the pregnancy, the would not recommend switching to a different type of oil. It's time to switch to crinone. I think I'm ok with that. I'm glad we glad we gave this a shot and got to do it for as long as we did. I think I mentioned that my RE thinks crinone is just as good as PIO—her studies have proven as much—but she did agree that sometimes doctors just have a feeling about something, so she was willing to let me try it. I'm a little paranoid, because I feel like we're giving up on the big guns, but since I finally felt what I consider real true border line nausea tonight after dinner, I'm maybe, just maybe starting to feel a glimmer of confidence. My stomach is also getting upset quite often these days, which hasn't been my norm of late, so it's a definite change. I'm wondering if that is one way morning sickness is taking a toll on me. I'd much rather sit on the toilet than hug it, so if that's the way it wants to continue, I'll take it! But man, was I excited to feel that little wave come over me tonight, even if it was brief, and immediately settled with a tums!
So, I guess that's the end of the injections for this cycle. I have a date with the gel in the morning.
It's been going fairly well so far. We've been following a pretty strict process which I am going to tell you about in great detail in hopes that will help those of you who are lucky enough to follow behind me. First, I heat up the vial and my butt cheek with a heating pad (careful that the heating pad is only hitting my butt, and not my back, and is not overly warm since we don't want to cook the babies.) A nurse recommended sticking the vial in my bra, which worked for awhile, but was starting to take too long. We're also careful not to heat the oil up too much, because let's face it, injecting hot oil into your ass would not be very pleasant. But, warming the oil makes it much more viscous, and therefore it flows much more easily through the syringe, and through my muscles. The warm muscles also helps to keep the oil flowing so it doesn't pool up at the injection site.
Each night, we alternate sides from right to left. In addition to that, Hubby has sharpied out 4 dots on each side of my butt. If you imagine the upper outter quadrant of your butt as a clock, think of dots at 12, 3, 6, and 9. Each night, we go from left to right, and around the clock, so that I don't get an injection in the same place for 8 days. Hubby always puts on a fresh needle after drawing the oil into the syringe. It gets dulled when it goes through the rubber stopper in the vial, and dull syringe into ass equals pain! He then pulls the skin very taught before sticking the needle in. This has been very important as well. The few times he forgot....owwweeee!
After he withdraws the needle, he holds a gauze pad down on the area and massages with a lot of pressure for a good minute. This also helps the oil to disperse, and not form little knots under the skin.
Like I said, it's been going really well. No bruises, no knots, a little soreness now and then, But really, much better than I ever imagined. Until Tuesday, when the sides of my hips/butt like right along the leg of my underwear started to itch! There hasn't been a rash, just really itchy. Then, last night, I discovers a hive or two. Now, I've been an allergic person in the past, and usually when I get hives, there are many, not just one or too. So, I was really concerned. But, when we realized we were nearing the end of our needle supply and the bottom of our last vial of sesame oil was coming closer, I thought I'd better check with the nurse before spending money on the refill for the next 4 weeks.
Sure enough, she told me it sounded like an allergic reaction, and at this point, seeing as we made it the pregnancy, the would not recommend switching to a different type of oil. It's time to switch to crinone. I think I'm ok with that. I'm glad we glad we gave this a shot and got to do it for as long as we did. I think I mentioned that my RE thinks crinone is just as good as PIO—her studies have proven as much—but she did agree that sometimes doctors just have a feeling about something, so she was willing to let me try it. I'm a little paranoid, because I feel like we're giving up on the big guns, but since I finally felt what I consider real true border line nausea tonight after dinner, I'm maybe, just maybe starting to feel a glimmer of confidence. My stomach is also getting upset quite often these days, which hasn't been my norm of late, so it's a definite change. I'm wondering if that is one way morning sickness is taking a toll on me. I'd much rather sit on the toilet than hug it, so if that's the way it wants to continue, I'll take it! But man, was I excited to feel that little wave come over me tonight, even if it was brief, and immediately settled with a tums!
So, I guess that's the end of the injections for this cycle. I have a date with the gel in the morning.
2.16.2012
Commenting - A Public Service Announcement
Hello all. I've noticed that many people have been complaining lately about having difficulty commenting on blogs. I have two thoughts:
1. Join Miss Conception in putting a stop to word verification. This is that annoying code you have to type in before you comment can be posted. Go to the comments tab in your settings and turn off this feature. I did it a year ago when she suggested it then, and have yet to receive a spam comment.
2. Try a different browser. I have found that every single time I've had trouble commenting it has been when I'm using Explorer. I use Safari at home and never have an issue. When I switched to Google Chrome at work, I have never had another problem. My guess is, this is intentional on the part of Microsoft as a way to mess with Google. Just sayin'. (I happen to think Microsoft is the devil!)
That is all.
1. Join Miss Conception in putting a stop to word verification. This is that annoying code you have to type in before you comment can be posted. Go to the comments tab in your settings and turn off this feature. I did it a year ago when she suggested it then, and have yet to receive a spam comment.
2. Try a different browser. I have found that every single time I've had trouble commenting it has been when I'm using Explorer. I use Safari at home and never have an issue. When I switched to Google Chrome at work, I have never had another problem. My guess is, this is intentional on the part of Microsoft as a way to mess with Google. Just sayin'. (I happen to think Microsoft is the devil!)
That is all.
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