Coming out of the fog

That is not to say of course, that we are getting anything that resembles adequate sleep around here yet, but we've made a lot of progress toward re-entering life outside of eating, sleeping and pooping! And I'm just starting to feel a wee bit like a normal human again.

The week before Thanksgiving week, L and I got out of the house on our own twice (aside from our daily weather permitting walks of course)! It was huge progress for me, especially given it was the first time I drove since he was born. It was nothing exciting, just a trip to the doctor for his one month appointment, and an ultrasound to check his kidney one day. The next was to attend a breast feeding support group at our hospital in hopes of breaking the shield habit, followed by my 6 week post-partum appointment. Everything looked good for me, and I was given the go ahead to resume all normal activities. I was also asked what we want to do for birth control. The obvious answer to an infertile is to laugh, and say nothing, or course. Which is what I did. But the idea of number two right now is a lot more mixed up in my head than I thought it would be, and merits another post the next time I have a few minutes with two hands free! I should say, all was fine except being a bit borderline on the post-partum depression questionnaire I was asked to fill out. It was honestly no surprise to me. Dr. S and I had a good chat and opted not to take any action yet, since I had finally started to feel like I could get out into the world, and have started to gain confidence. Not to mention the fact that Hubby and I are well versed at dealing with anxiety and depression, so I'd like to think I'll know if I really need help, but he's keeping a close eye on me as well.

That weekend, we also made it out to a family outing with Hubby's family, at his Aunt's house, where L got to meet many of his relatives, and pose for a picture with his three fellow great-grandsons on that side of the family. It was a rough day for me, just making sure he was ok, and feeling quite tired. My best naps have been occurring in the afternoon, sometime after lunch, and I have learned that it is not wise, or easy to miss them. Hubby was kind to me, and we did make it home by 4 that afternoon, so I was able to sleep before dinner.

Last week, was another busy week. On Tuesday, we had our first playdate, with my friend J (met through our Resolve peer group) and her twelve week old twins, W and V. They are adorable, and it was really fun to have them over, and have a little new mom chat in between lots of diapers, pacifiers, and feedings. Watching her constantly attending to one of the her two really gave me some insight into what it would be like to actually have twins. I'm not sure I could handle it. Seriously. Yet another factor to discuss when I manage to sort out those thoughts about number two.

We also went to visit my workplace and have lunch with some of my coworkers. L did great at his first restaurant lunch. It was well timed so he'd be hungry pretty much when we go there, and I was prepared with bottles so I didn't have to nurse. He was an angel. We also go through our first public bathroom diaper change back at my office. It was too adorable. He often hates to be changed, and screams bloody murder until it's over. I had set him up on the counter in the bathroom in front of a huge full wall mirror. Just as he arched his back and turned his head, ready to let out a wail, he came face to face with his reflection and was completely engrossed for the entire change. It was the cutest thing, and I definitely need to put up a mirror by his changing table at home!

Having a play date and a restaurant outing did wonders for my confidence. We can actually survive out of the house, and not just at the home of a relative. This week, comes our next big step, which is our Great Beginnings class at Isis parenting. It will be an adventure to get out of the house by 9 am on Thursday for the next 8 weeks, but I am very much looking forward to meeting some other new moms, and having some fun with L.

I had more in my head that I wanted to write, but I am in a sleep and food deprived fog, as I am sitting here in the lab at the hospital for my 2 hour glucose test to confirm that the GD is gone. I've been here since 7:50. I was supposed to start the test at 8, but they lost my orders and I started an hour late. Not happy about that, especially since I've essentially been up since 3:00 am. Thanks hungry boy!

So, the last few random thoughts I will leave you with are some areas on which I'm looking for advice. First of all, I'm not planning to go back to work until May. But I want to incorporate pumping for days like today when I have to leave L at home for a bit, and so that Hubby can do an occasional feeding so I can get more sleep. I'm having trouble figuring out a good routine to fit it in, especially when I miss a feeding and then have to make up for it by pumping. It becomes hard to then fit in an extra pumping to add to my stash. I'm totally paranoid that if I'm not regular enough about it, I'm going to affect my supply.

The other issue that we're starting to deal with is establishing a bedtime routine. We've been all over the place so far, mostly because he seems to eat a slightly different times from day to day. L sleeps, but if he's not in a deep, deep sleep when we put him down, he wakes, and wants to be with us. I never thought I would bring him to bed with me as much as I have ended up doing, but it happens for at least part of the night most days. I have opted in favor of more sleep for me, rather than staying up for an hour to sooth him back down so he'll stay in his crib in our room. It works for now, but I'm worried about what we're setting ourselves up for. I'd be curious to hear any similar experiences out there.

All right, that didn't entirely end up becoming the post I had planned, but as I said, I'm coming out of the fog, but it's still lingering for sure! Hoping to have more interesting things to say more frequently when I can get more sleep!

I'll leave you with a few photos from the last few weeks.