Lights

Magic is coming home and finding this:





Hubby hanging up our new icicle lights to surprise me. He's so sweet!


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Random updates from the dentist chair

I'm sitting at the dentist after having my teeth cleaned, waiting for X-rays to develop so I can see the dentist. Do you love that "any chance of pregnancy?" question? I swear, it's half the reason I've been delinquent I getting back to the dentist since I started ttc. For too many of those weeks, I haven't known the answer to that question. Anyway, seems like a good time for a few quick follow ups to previous posts/comments, etc.

First, the Pats did win yesterday, 35-24 (I think). The colts scored twice in the last quarter after most of the crowd had already left. Our defense sucks in general, but they definitely went home early yesterday. Good thing it didn't matter!

Welker is my absolute favorite. He's so cute and little and scrappy. Tom Brady with a good haircut is mighty fine though too.

Many of you asked about the gray paint in my dining room. It was hotly debate between me and Hubby. (I won, don't argue color with a girl with two degrees in art!) it's amazing how many different grays there are. Anyway, we went with Lazy Gray by Sherwin Williams.

Lastly, Hubby and I are pinch hitting for our peer group leader at resolve tomorrow night. She's having a rough recovery from some recent surgery. (feel better CG). With almost a year of attendance, plus decades combined spent in therapy, I think we're reasonably qualified Wish us luck!

PS - there really is no magic to be found in the dentist chair. I'll have to find some somewhere else.


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First Football Game

No, not mine. For a girl who never liked football, this is my third trip to Gillette. It is the first football game for the 6ish girl and 8ish boy who are sitting behind me with their extremely proud papa. He's asked at least three different people to take pictures of the three of them together. It's clear that he is thrilled to shared this with his kids. His enthusiasm is magical.

It goes without saying that I so hope Hubby gets to do that some day.

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Hubby realized we needed some time together, so he ended up not working yesterday. We got to do the outside lights in addition to the inside. After he helped our friends move furniture, we snuggled in the couch for the rest of the night and watched duly shows about crazy Christmas lights. It was nice. An much needed down time.

See, I'm blogging at a football game. There are so many people who are more deserving of this ticket than me! But it makes Hubby happy, and I want to share that!

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Sneak Peak

Because in creating magic, I have also managed to create a lot of chaos, I fear that I won't have time to properly photograph my accomplishment until after the football game tomorrow. I might be cleaning up all night! So, here's a sneak peak of what things are looking like so far.













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Random Compliments

Sometimes, there is magic in a compliment from a random stranger. Today, when picking up my sandwich at a fast food counter, the conversation went something like this...

Me: Number 27?

Guy: Right here.

Me: Thanks.

Guy: Wow, that's a beautiful scarf. (said in a much more sensitive way than one would expect from a guy at a sub counter.

Me: Thanks.

Guy: Where did you get it? (with great excitement)

Me: Target. (Just got it to go with me new coat...did I mention that I mostly bought for myself on Black Friday?

Guy: Gorgeous! 

It was a little random, but it left me with a smile, that's for sure.

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Off to return the tree. Thanks for all the support, and encouragement to keep up the magic (and to stick myself in the ass with progesterone). I hope to be back to you tomorrow with a fully lit tree and a fully decorated house!

Somebody Pulled the Plug on My Magic

Yes, that's right, when I returned home last night from Buffalo an hour later than I was supposed to, not due to snow, but due to a pilot who was late getting in from NYC), I noticed that half the bottom branches on my brand new pre-lit tree were not lit up! And of course, I chose not to pay $30 for the protection plan (if a light goes out..., yeah, whatever, if a light goes out, I think I can fix that for less than $30! The tree only cost $140!) I was not anticipating an entire length of string going out. We tested another area, and when you pull one bulb, the whole string does not go out, so it's definitely something wrong with the wiring in general. We are blaming it on the cats, who showed too much interest in nibbling on the lower branches, mush more so than in previous years.

Even though we think the cats might have done something, we are planning to exchange the tree for a new one. (Don't hate me!) It was only up for 4 days! It seems somewhat ridiculous to have a malfunction that soon. The really irritating thing is finding the time to do this. Hubby probably has to work on Saturday, which is when I was planning on decorating the damn tree! Then, he promised to help a friend move something with his truck. Sunday, we have tickets to the Pats/Colts game, so the entire say will be taken up with that. Looks like it's Friday night. We don't even have all the original wrapping, just the box. It's a nightmare. 

And I don't want to keep a freaking broken tree. I bought a really nice tree that is suppose to be our tree for the next ten years, for goodness sakes. 

And yes ladies, this entire situation sent me into a complete meltdown last night. 

I'm talking sputtering, choking, gasping, hysterical tears, unable to speak or breath for a good solid ten minutes. 

This all happened in the bathroom. Hubby finally came down to check on me, and said "Is this all about the tree? You're breaking my heart sweetie..."

So of course, I choked, that no it's not all about the damn tree. It's about the fact that I have to face yet another fucking christmas with no baby in sight. I really want to do christmas up big and really enjoy it without the stress of a cycle because I want something to be beautiful and go well. I feel like life is spinning so fast, I can't ever get ahead. Hubby has been working non-stop. I had just gotten home from two nights away, and I miss him. And he's booked almost all of Saturday without me. Not to mention that we have friends who have tickets the Pats as well. Hubby arranged for us to ride down together so we could tailgate, and even suggested we ticket swap for part of the game so we can catch up with them. I don't really want to catch up with them. My whole life feels like it's about tying to have a baby, and I don't really have anything I feel like talking about with anyone else, and I miss my damn husband, so I don't really want to share our football day with another couple. And, work is stressing me out. I'm taking on tasks I've never done before, and every time I express concern that I'm unsure of what I am doing to my teammates, they don't really seem to hear me, but yet I'm the one up in front of the client talking about this particular aspect of the project. And I don't really care, I don't care that I'm getting face time with the client, and taking on new responsibilities, I just want to be home with a baby in a pretty house that my fucking cats don't keep messing up on me. I really can't take cleaning up after them for much longer. We will be looking into cleaning service after the holidays. 

So, yeah, it wasn't really all about the tree. 

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Ok, now that I got that off my chest, we can return to our regularly scheduled programming. 

I had my endometrial biopsy today. I was pretty uneventful, and I'm relieved, because I know others have not had the same luck. (Thinking of you, Lauren). The worst part today was actually the speculum. I have not been having good luck with those lately. There was cramping, but it was gone as soon as she was done. 

I got the results of our karotyping. As my friend Jen likes to say, it confirmed that I am in fact a girl, and hubby is in fact a boy. We also discussed moving on to the next cycle. The nurses are moving forward with insurance approval. I told Dr. Stats a few of the things Dr. Anatomy said, specifically in regards to PIO (which she calls Intramuscular Prog), vs. Crinone. Dr. Anatomy recommended PIO due to my two chemicals. Here's Dr. Stats take. Her hospital has done a study with over 400 participants and found no difference in outcome between Crinone and PIO. But she agrees that this is an art, not just a science, and some doctors have a "feeling" that PIO will make a difference. She is leaving it up to me, if it makes me feel like I am doing more, maybe it has a placebo effect. She's all for it. The nurse said it's not that bad. She apparently did it for 10 weeks! So now I know that both Dr. Stats and Nurse N are both iffers. Like I've said before, it's sort of peace of mind, pain of ass. 

So ladies, if given the choice, on your third IVF with one natural chemical and one IVF chemical, what would you do?

And lastly, I even though I'm pissed off about dealing with my tree that was supposed to be the grand kick-off into my magical Christmas season, I did manage to embrace the wonderful smell of fresh cut trees for a few minutes this afternoon when I stopped at a local store to grab my lunch. It is a pretty magical smell indeed. 

Swim

Today's magical moment has nothing to do with Christmas and everything to do with the fact that I just had all of this to myself for an hour after a long day of meetings. No, it isn't a tropical paradise, but I'd say it's not too shabby. For Buffalo. On November 29. (wouldn't you agree M?)




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