...or should I say stirrups? That's right, its Cycle Day 3!
Just the way every girls likes to start her Saturday, right? My appointment was a 9:00 am, which isn't too bad. The week day ones are usually at 7:30 or earlier. To set the context, my alarm usually goes off on a weekday at 6:30 and I snooze for a half hour. Then I dilly dally for about twenty minutes more until I finally get in the shower. I usually get to work around 9:00.
I wanted to sleep in a bit this morning. It is the weekend after all. I even considered not showering before my appointment, since I plan to get on the elliptical later this morning. But, it is Cycle Day 3 after all. Not exactly a good scene down there. So, shower it was. The hospital is 15 - 45 min away depending on traffic. It's Boston people. Yes, it does vary that much. But it's Saturday, so all should be fine.
I get out of the shower at 8:25, after thinking I would leave at 8:30. Did I mention I'm really good at dilly-dallying. No problem. I'll just grab a granola bar, and eat a real breakfast when I get home. And who needs to bother with make-up for the sonographer? It's now 8:35. I kiss Hubby good-bye and run out the door.
Crap, there is ice on both windshields. Crank up the heat, set the defroster, grab the scraper. OK, back in the car. I put the car in reverse, and then back into park for some reason which I have already forgotten. Then I noticed a light on my dashboard. It wasn't the check engine light, but right next to it. Transmission maybe? I just had my car inspected yesterday. WTF? Did the mess it up. Now my break pedal won't go down, and I can't shift the car.
I run back into house in a panic and yell to Hubby that he needs to drive me. He has a pick-up, and the hospital lot is small, especially with all the snowbanks. Now that I'm in a panic, there's no way I can deal with it.
While he's getting dressed, I go back out, and start the car again. It was fine. So I call Hubby and tell him not to worry, but asked him not to head out on his errands until I was safely back in a moving car.
Whew, It's always something, right?
I made it there with minutes to spare. There was no traffic, but in fact, a bunch of runners training for the marathon to navigate as I pulled into the hospital. I also had to navigate around an extremely large pot hole, after which I exclaimed aloud to myself "wow, that was a really large pot holder!" Clearly, I'm losing it, and I haven't even started the injections yet. Hold on to your hats cowboys, looks like this might be a bumpy ride.
I'm home now though, with a whole day to myself with nothing planned. I need to find a new project now that the wedding album is done. I think it will be the honeymoon album, which is going to be a little different, since I have to do it scrap book style. We bought a nice leather album on our honeymoon for the purpose. By the way, thanks for all the lovely comments on my album. I'm really proud of how it came out, and it's fun to share with people who appreciate it.
I'm heading down to the elliptical shortly with my laptop. Hubby attached a laptop stand to our machine. I'm finding that reading and commenting on blogs while walking is a great way to distract myself into staying on for 30 minutes.
Hope you are all having a great weekend!
2.26.2011
2.24.2011
The Album is Done!
OK, this might be a little excessive, I do realize that. But I finally finished my wedding album and just uploaded the files to Blurb to be printed. I could link to it here, because I do want to share it with all of you, but that would reveal my true identity. So, I made jpgs of all the pages instead. Because I'm just so excited that I finally finished it!!! And I've only been married for two years and nine months! I just need to feel happy and excited, and accomplished a joyful for a bit. So, there you have it...more of my wedding photos than you could possibly ever imagine wanting to see.
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| This is my mom on with us on the left, and Hubby's mom on the right. |
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| My brother and sister-in-love on the top right. |
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| Being silly with my little bro. |
If you made it this far, thanks so much for checking it all out!
2.23.2011
Random Thoughts on Cycle Day 30
Yes, that's right. It's CD30. This is not a good thing.
I have had only three other cycles this long in the last two years since I've been keeping track, and one of them was my chemical pregnancy. To say I am getting impatient would be an understatement. If this had been any other cycle, I would definitely be peeing on thing by now. But this wasn't any old cycle. This is the cycle that benched us. The cycle where we didn't even get to try.
I've been waiting and waiting for CD1 so we can get the show on the road with the next IUI. Even my iPhone app is getting impatient, as it now tells me I am four days late. (yes, a 22 day cycle will throw off your average, and it uses the last three months data). How cruel. I still don't feel any symptoms aside from the lingering bitchiness. In a few more days I may need to call the nurse and ask if this extended cycle is normal after an exuberant cancelled cycle!
In other random thoughts, I still need to finish telling the story of my dad. I believe the next installment will cover our wedding, and possibly his 60th birthday, which was the final event that triggered our estrangement. Maybe I will get to it over the weekend. I have started to talk about him in therapy again, since I had a few weeks where I wasn't overwhelmed with fertility treatments. I think I am making some progress. One of the realizations I'm getting to is trying to accept the fact that I haven't done anything wrong. I haven't been "bad." When I was accused of not liking his new family, or his new wife, or being bitchy to them, or whatever, I've always thought to myself that I didn't understand what I did that would make him think that. I felt caught off-guard and very misunderstood. My therapist kept hinting that maybe I was angry, and maybe I did act out in some way, which make me defensive. It's really hard to remember, but the realization that I'm coming to is that if I did act out, a 14 year old girl who was thrust into a new family where she realted to no one, a year after her dad left her mom for a young blonde deserves to be angry. A 20 year old girl who has a new woman move in with her dad and he doesn't even bother to tell her deserves to be confused. It was not wrong to be angry. I was not "bad" by being angry. And it's not my fault that my dad is/was emotinally incapable of working through the situation in a rational manner without imposing blame. I've got a long way to go, but I think it's progress.
And my last random thought on this most frustrating of Day 30s is about my mom. Now that Hubby has filled her in, and she knows that I don't really want to talk about the situation, she keeps saying things like "I hope you feel joyful today," or "find the joy in each other every day." I know she's concerned, and wants to help. Believe me, I wish she could. I love my mom so much. She's amazing. But having her remind me to feel joyful just makes me feel that much worse that I don't. I wish I could feel more excited that my house that I wanted for so long is really starting to take shape. Don't get me wrong, I love the way it's turning out. I have a lot of other things in my life to be grateful for. But I am having a hard time finding joy in each day right now. Espeically in this particular cramp, backache and blood free Day 30.
Update: I'm spotting. Thank goodness. And that might the only time I'll be thankful for that.
I have had only three other cycles this long in the last two years since I've been keeping track, and one of them was my chemical pregnancy. To say I am getting impatient would be an understatement. If this had been any other cycle, I would definitely be peeing on thing by now. But this wasn't any old cycle. This is the cycle that benched us. The cycle where we didn't even get to try.
I've been waiting and waiting for CD1 so we can get the show on the road with the next IUI. Even my iPhone app is getting impatient, as it now tells me I am four days late. (yes, a 22 day cycle will throw off your average, and it uses the last three months data). How cruel. I still don't feel any symptoms aside from the lingering bitchiness. In a few more days I may need to call the nurse and ask if this extended cycle is normal after an exuberant cancelled cycle!
In other random thoughts, I still need to finish telling the story of my dad. I believe the next installment will cover our wedding, and possibly his 60th birthday, which was the final event that triggered our estrangement. Maybe I will get to it over the weekend. I have started to talk about him in therapy again, since I had a few weeks where I wasn't overwhelmed with fertility treatments. I think I am making some progress. One of the realizations I'm getting to is trying to accept the fact that I haven't done anything wrong. I haven't been "bad." When I was accused of not liking his new family, or his new wife, or being bitchy to them, or whatever, I've always thought to myself that I didn't understand what I did that would make him think that. I felt caught off-guard and very misunderstood. My therapist kept hinting that maybe I was angry, and maybe I did act out in some way, which make me defensive. It's really hard to remember, but the realization that I'm coming to is that if I did act out, a 14 year old girl who was thrust into a new family where she realted to no one, a year after her dad left her mom for a young blonde deserves to be angry. A 20 year old girl who has a new woman move in with her dad and he doesn't even bother to tell her deserves to be confused. It was not wrong to be angry. I was not "bad" by being angry. And it's not my fault that my dad is/was emotinally incapable of working through the situation in a rational manner without imposing blame. I've got a long way to go, but I think it's progress.
And my last random thought on this most frustrating of Day 30s is about my mom. Now that Hubby has filled her in, and she knows that I don't really want to talk about the situation, she keeps saying things like "I hope you feel joyful today," or "find the joy in each other every day." I know she's concerned, and wants to help. Believe me, I wish she could. I love my mom so much. She's amazing. But having her remind me to feel joyful just makes me feel that much worse that I don't. I wish I could feel more excited that my house that I wanted for so long is really starting to take shape. Don't get me wrong, I love the way it's turning out. I have a lot of other things in my life to be grateful for. But I am having a hard time finding joy in each day right now. Espeically in this particular cramp, backache and blood free Day 30.
* * *
Update: I'm spotting. Thank goodness. And that might the only time I'll be thankful for that.
2.22.2011
Tag, I'm It
Hey everyone, I've been tagged by a Southern Princess.
What exactly does that mean?
Rule #1: the tagged person must write their answers on their blog and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
Rule #2: tag 4 people to do this quiz; they cannot refuse (ok, so nothing bad will happen if you don’t participate but I would love to see your answers). The tag-ee must state who tagged them.
1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are they members of your family? We have two cats. Siegfried & Roy. They came with Hubby. I was never a cat person, but the boys have grown on me. Even thought their primary reaction is still to run away from me when I come at them for a hug. Guess I'm not supposed to approach. When I'm asleep, they lie on me all the time. **forgot to mention last night that they are very much members of the family. When the let me, I pick them up and rock them like the are babies. And they have lots of nicknames...Ziggy, Zig Zag, Zigazig-ah, Mr. Roy, Royzah, and my favorites, when we write the graphic novel...the adventures of Zig Man and Roy Boy.**
2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be? Does anyone have a dream other than a healthy baby?
3. What would you do with a billion dollars? Pay off all my debt. Buy a bigger house with a pool. Take vacations. Quit working and try to design stuff to sell. Take care of my family.
4. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood? Cadbury Creme Eggs and Margaritas.
5. What is your bedtime routine? Drag myself off the couch where I am half asleep into the bathroom, and then upstairs for lights out. I used to read more, but have fallen out of the habit when I was studying for my exam.
6. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your significant other? I have been married to my wonderful Hubby for almost three years. We met just about five years ago online, at chemistry.com. It matches people by personality type. I'm a negotiator/director, and he's a negotiator/builder.
7. What kind of books do you read? I used to read a lot of Chick Lit. Anna Maxsted was one of my favorite authors in the genre. Lately, I read a lot of magazines, catalogues and blogs.
8. What is a place you have always wanted to visit? I would love to go on a cruise around the islands of Greece. As a kid, I loved mythology. And having studied architecture, I think it would be a fascinating place to visit.
9. What’s your fear? Spiders. Never being a mom.
10. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to see outer space? This is actually really hard for me. I was obsessed with the movie Space Camp as a kid. But to never eat another potato chip or dip.... But I would be skinnier? But there is no gravity in outer space...?
11. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? Hit snooze.
12. If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be? He's pretty perfect, but I do wish he didn't store and could control his killer pointy elbows a bit better.
13. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be? Despite the fact that I have an extremely common name, I do in fact like it quite a bit.
14. If you had to choose between six months of sun or six months of rain, what would you choose? Uh...sun? Duh.
15. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be? Cheese
16. What is the thing you enjoy about blogging the most? Finding the humor in what we go through, and finding amazing women to relate to.
17. Do you prefer salty or sweet foods? Salt. definitely salt.
18. What items are in your purse right now? Too many lipsticks and glosses to count, a mirror, a small architect's scale, a reusable shopping bag, sunglasses, ear buds for my iphone, a note book, a pouch of makeup and other feminine items, business cards, by wallet, two mini photos albums of honeymoon photos, pamprin, gum, my renewed car registration so I remember to put it in the car tomorrow. tissues, paperwork I need to send to one of my 401ks who never changed my name and now wants a new marriage certificate because mine is over 2 years old (yeah, that was an adventure in phone calls today. can somebody please tell me why a marriage certificate would not be valid anymore? and why I have to spend $30 on a new one?!?!
19. If you had to choose between vacationing at the beach or in the mountains where would you go? beach, but if there is a lake or a place to swim in the mountains, then I can be pretty darn happy either way.
20. What do you watch on television that you know you shouldn’t? General Hospital. RuPaul's Drag Race.
Ok, now you're it...
Miss Conception
A Miracle 4 Us
I Can't Control Everything
Greetings from Nowhere, NM
Have fun!
What exactly does that mean?
Rule #1: the tagged person must write their answers on their blog and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
Rule #2: tag 4 people to do this quiz; they cannot refuse (ok, so nothing bad will happen if you don’t participate but I would love to see your answers). The tag-ee must state who tagged them.
1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are they members of your family? We have two cats. Siegfried & Roy. They came with Hubby. I was never a cat person, but the boys have grown on me. Even thought their primary reaction is still to run away from me when I come at them for a hug. Guess I'm not supposed to approach. When I'm asleep, they lie on me all the time. **forgot to mention last night that they are very much members of the family. When the let me, I pick them up and rock them like the are babies. And they have lots of nicknames...Ziggy, Zig Zag, Zigazig-ah, Mr. Roy, Royzah, and my favorites, when we write the graphic novel...the adventures of Zig Man and Roy Boy.**
2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be? Does anyone have a dream other than a healthy baby?
3. What would you do with a billion dollars? Pay off all my debt. Buy a bigger house with a pool. Take vacations. Quit working and try to design stuff to sell. Take care of my family.
4. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood? Cadbury Creme Eggs and Margaritas.
5. What is your bedtime routine? Drag myself off the couch where I am half asleep into the bathroom, and then upstairs for lights out. I used to read more, but have fallen out of the habit when I was studying for my exam.
6. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your significant other? I have been married to my wonderful Hubby for almost three years. We met just about five years ago online, at chemistry.com. It matches people by personality type. I'm a negotiator/director, and he's a negotiator/builder.
7. What kind of books do you read? I used to read a lot of Chick Lit. Anna Maxsted was one of my favorite authors in the genre. Lately, I read a lot of magazines, catalogues and blogs.
8. What is a place you have always wanted to visit? I would love to go on a cruise around the islands of Greece. As a kid, I loved mythology. And having studied architecture, I think it would be a fascinating place to visit.
9. What’s your fear? Spiders. Never being a mom.
10. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to see outer space? This is actually really hard for me. I was obsessed with the movie Space Camp as a kid. But to never eat another potato chip or dip.... But I would be skinnier? But there is no gravity in outer space...?
11. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? Hit snooze.
12. If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be? He's pretty perfect, but I do wish he didn't store and could control his killer pointy elbows a bit better.
13. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be? Despite the fact that I have an extremely common name, I do in fact like it quite a bit.
14. If you had to choose between six months of sun or six months of rain, what would you choose? Uh...sun? Duh.
15. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be? Cheese
16. What is the thing you enjoy about blogging the most? Finding the humor in what we go through, and finding amazing women to relate to.
17. Do you prefer salty or sweet foods? Salt. definitely salt.
18. What items are in your purse right now? Too many lipsticks and glosses to count, a mirror, a small architect's scale, a reusable shopping bag, sunglasses, ear buds for my iphone, a note book, a pouch of makeup and other feminine items, business cards, by wallet, two mini photos albums of honeymoon photos, pamprin, gum, my renewed car registration so I remember to put it in the car tomorrow. tissues, paperwork I need to send to one of my 401ks who never changed my name and now wants a new marriage certificate because mine is over 2 years old (yeah, that was an adventure in phone calls today. can somebody please tell me why a marriage certificate would not be valid anymore? and why I have to spend $30 on a new one?!?!
19. If you had to choose between vacationing at the beach or in the mountains where would you go? beach, but if there is a lake or a place to swim in the mountains, then I can be pretty darn happy either way.
20. What do you watch on television that you know you shouldn’t? General Hospital. RuPaul's Drag Race.
Ok, now you're it...
Miss Conception
A Miracle 4 Us
I Can't Control Everything
Greetings from Nowhere, NM
Have fun!
2.21.2011
I am a Miserable Bitch
It's Day 28. I am not in control of my emotions and I've been acting like a miserable bitch for days.
I've been patient, since finding out a little over two weeks ago that our fifth IUI cycle was cancelled. But I have about had it. More often than not, my cycles are 27 days. Which means AF should have arrived today. But as of yet, there is no sign. And aside from a few slight cramps here and there, the only symptom I have is the bitchiness. Can we please get on with it already? I am really ready to get this one last IUI show on the road.
My mom has been visiting for the long weekend. She leaves tomorrow morning. We bought a house six months ago, and every so often, she comes to visit and helps us with some big house project. I'm easily distracted, and she's good at motivating me. But, I've been anxious because I haven't really talked to her about what is going on with us. She's dropped millions of hints giving me an opening, and I just can't do it. It's not that I don't want her to know what's going on, it's more that I just can't open myself up to feel all the emotions. Even if it might ultimately be beneficial.
So, we've had a crazy, busy, productive weekend here. We unpacked our entire book collection onto some new shelves Hubby and I bought and assembled last weekend. We installed the living room window treatment which has been causing me great stress for months. We sorted, purged, and stored stuff away in our attic, organized my closet, did loads and loads of laundry, and Hubby finished installing a countertop we added to our kitchen. The whole time, though my house is becoming more organized an beautiful right before my eyes, I've been cranky, snappy and bitchy. It's a good thing my mom and Hubby love me so much.
This afternoon, Mom asked me if I wanted to tell her why I was so sad. I said no, but Hubby would fill her in later. I don't want her to worry too much, at least because she doesn't know. But there is really nothing to tell her. It's unexplained. In any case, I have the most wonderful husband in the world, and he just had a chat with my mom while I was in the shower. I have yet to hear the details. But hopefully, she can stop being too concerned and I can keep from becoming a blithering mess.
And despite all my bitchiness, our house is really starting to come together, which does inspire me to keep going, and move on to other rooms. Hubby works incredibly hard to keep me happy, making the improvements that I dream up, making endless trips up and down the stairs of our split level, and all the while telling me that I'm doing great, even though all I can do is snip and snap.
I've been patient, since finding out a little over two weeks ago that our fifth IUI cycle was cancelled. But I have about had it. More often than not, my cycles are 27 days. Which means AF should have arrived today. But as of yet, there is no sign. And aside from a few slight cramps here and there, the only symptom I have is the bitchiness. Can we please get on with it already? I am really ready to get this one last IUI show on the road.
My mom has been visiting for the long weekend. She leaves tomorrow morning. We bought a house six months ago, and every so often, she comes to visit and helps us with some big house project. I'm easily distracted, and she's good at motivating me. But, I've been anxious because I haven't really talked to her about what is going on with us. She's dropped millions of hints giving me an opening, and I just can't do it. It's not that I don't want her to know what's going on, it's more that I just can't open myself up to feel all the emotions. Even if it might ultimately be beneficial.
So, we've had a crazy, busy, productive weekend here. We unpacked our entire book collection onto some new shelves Hubby and I bought and assembled last weekend. We installed the living room window treatment which has been causing me great stress for months. We sorted, purged, and stored stuff away in our attic, organized my closet, did loads and loads of laundry, and Hubby finished installing a countertop we added to our kitchen. The whole time, though my house is becoming more organized an beautiful right before my eyes, I've been cranky, snappy and bitchy. It's a good thing my mom and Hubby love me so much.
This afternoon, Mom asked me if I wanted to tell her why I was so sad. I said no, but Hubby would fill her in later. I don't want her to worry too much, at least because she doesn't know. But there is really nothing to tell her. It's unexplained. In any case, I have the most wonderful husband in the world, and he just had a chat with my mom while I was in the shower. I have yet to hear the details. But hopefully, she can stop being too concerned and I can keep from becoming a blithering mess.
And despite all my bitchiness, our house is really starting to come together, which does inspire me to keep going, and move on to other rooms. Hubby works incredibly hard to keep me happy, making the improvements that I dream up, making endless trips up and down the stairs of our split level, and all the while telling me that I'm doing great, even though all I can do is snip and snap.
* * * *
Update. The three of us are back from a lovely dinner out, and are relaxing on the couch enjoying a movie on Mom's last night here. I'm feeling more calm at the moment, and hoping it stays with me into the week. (I have my doubts, but I'll take it for the moment!) I thought I'd share a few pictures of what we were up to this weekend.
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| New window treatment and freshly painted walls. (The green chair is in desperate need of a slip cover!) |
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| This is "before" we painted the room a few weeks ago. The rest of the house is this horrible pale yellow color. I can't wait to keep painting! |
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| This is our new library wall in the basement family room. Here's hoping we have to downsize my magazine collection in favor of children's books some day. We still need a new floor, and paint on the wood panels, but it's getting there. |
My First ICLW
Hi everyone!
I want to welcome any new readers to my blog for my first ever ICLW. I only started this blog at the beginning of the new year, and am amazed at what a difference it has made in my life. It is comforting to read other's posts that so perfectly echo what is going on in my mind, an to know that I am not alone. It is inspiring to read about those who have had BFPs recently through IVF or otherwise. It gives me hope that I too will someday get the result I seek.
For newcomers, you can get the basics for my history by looking at my timeline to the side. But the quick summary is that I'm freaking out about my impending birthday in April. I will be 36. We threw away the BCPs just before my 34 birthday, and started strategically TTC about 18 months ago. We've had one BFP a year ago, was a chemical pregnancy and resulted in a miscarriage. We've been working with an RE for the last 6 months. We're planning one more IUI with injectables next cycle before we move on to IVF sometime later this spring if necessary. But before we do that, we're heading to London for a week to visit my perfect brother, sister-in-love (she coined the phrase, it's kinda sweet), and darling niece Lady C who will be 9.5 months old during our visit. I'm hoping to pick up good baby vibes instead of jealousy!
Lastly, if your name happens to be Jennifer like me, please check out this post. I'm trying to collect 27 of us.
I'm looking forward to getting to know more of you this week! (and of course staying up to date on the rest of you)
I want to welcome any new readers to my blog for my first ever ICLW. I only started this blog at the beginning of the new year, and am amazed at what a difference it has made in my life. It is comforting to read other's posts that so perfectly echo what is going on in my mind, an to know that I am not alone. It is inspiring to read about those who have had BFPs recently through IVF or otherwise. It gives me hope that I too will someday get the result I seek.
For newcomers, you can get the basics for my history by looking at my timeline to the side. But the quick summary is that I'm freaking out about my impending birthday in April. I will be 36. We threw away the BCPs just before my 34 birthday, and started strategically TTC about 18 months ago. We've had one BFP a year ago, was a chemical pregnancy and resulted in a miscarriage. We've been working with an RE for the last 6 months. We're planning one more IUI with injectables next cycle before we move on to IVF sometime later this spring if necessary. But before we do that, we're heading to London for a week to visit my perfect brother, sister-in-love (she coined the phrase, it's kinda sweet), and darling niece Lady C who will be 9.5 months old during our visit. I'm hoping to pick up good baby vibes instead of jealousy!
Lastly, if your name happens to be Jennifer like me, please check out this post. I'm trying to collect 27 of us.
I'm looking forward to getting to know more of you this week! (and of course staying up to date on the rest of you)
2.19.2011
Love in an Elevator
....or shots in the ass in an elevator? Doesn't quite have the same ring.
Did anyone see Grey's this week? Warning...Spoilers ahead.
I know there has been some discussion and mixed opinions about their various pregnancy/infertility storylines. I've been a faithful watcher of Grey's since the very beginning. Many a tear has rolled down my check over the years, despite the fact that I hate to cry. Maybe it's been a bit theraputic. A chance to let some of those tears out.
In any case, I am glad that they are addressing the issue of infertility. I'm withholding my final judgement until I see the result of the story arc. But in the meantime, there are some moments I find very relatable.
Like this week for instance. Meredith was running the ER. She was frantically running around taking care of patients, and checking in with Derek to make sure that we would be meeting her precisely at 6:30. They wanted us thinking that they were planning to meet for a BD because it was a fertile time. When they showed up at the on-call room to find it already occupied, there was a moment of panic. How on earth to fit in the deed now. Derek smirks, and pulls Mere into the elevator, stands behind her and tells her to pull down her pants.
And we're thinking "Seriously?! In the elevator?
Her face scrunches up in pain, and we see that he had pulled a syringe out of his pocket and stabbed her in the ass. After which he un-stops the elevator and they go about their busy night at the hospital.
To me, it was a moment of comedy which made me giggle over some of the absurdity I've already been through in trying to make sure I get my shots. And it was a moment of reality that fertiles are most likely completely unaware of. Maybe it will help shed some light on what we go through.
The other moment that struck me was when Christina approached Meredith about Cali wanting Christina to be her baby's godmother. Meredith told Christina it was out of the question. She later revealed that it was because if her own best friend agreed to be the godmother to someone else's baby, it was like admitting that Mere would never have a baby of her own. This to me was a moment of real envy that I so often find myself facing when I find that others around me are so magically fertile.
The last moment I want to point out was from a week or so ago. Mark told Derek he and Cali were having a baby, and asked for advice about how to handle Lexi. Derek offered none, but simple stated that all Mark had to do was look at a woman, yet he and Mere were struggling. Yet another common infertile thought, whether or not it's stated out loud.
Like I said, I am reserving judgement until the arc plays out, but in the meantime, I am glad that some of these emotions and experiences are being played out.
So, on a lighter note, infertile friends, what are some of your absurd experiences involving injections?
I tell of the anxiety of the first and only time I had to travel with drugs here (the planning), here (getting through security), and here (my first self injection). We've had other moments, like potentially having to reschedule Hubby's birthday dinner out due to a trigger shot schedule, and sneaking off upstairs in the middle of a dinner party, leaving our friends to dish themselves up. I'm sure there will be more (maybe not too many?) this coming cycle. Just waiting to get started.
Did anyone see Grey's this week? Warning...Spoilers ahead.
I know there has been some discussion and mixed opinions about their various pregnancy/infertility storylines. I've been a faithful watcher of Grey's since the very beginning. Many a tear has rolled down my check over the years, despite the fact that I hate to cry. Maybe it's been a bit theraputic. A chance to let some of those tears out.
In any case, I am glad that they are addressing the issue of infertility. I'm withholding my final judgement until I see the result of the story arc. But in the meantime, there are some moments I find very relatable.
Like this week for instance. Meredith was running the ER. She was frantically running around taking care of patients, and checking in with Derek to make sure that we would be meeting her precisely at 6:30. They wanted us thinking that they were planning to meet for a BD because it was a fertile time. When they showed up at the on-call room to find it already occupied, there was a moment of panic. How on earth to fit in the deed now. Derek smirks, and pulls Mere into the elevator, stands behind her and tells her to pull down her pants.
And we're thinking "Seriously?! In the elevator?
Her face scrunches up in pain, and we see that he had pulled a syringe out of his pocket and stabbed her in the ass. After which he un-stops the elevator and they go about their busy night at the hospital.
To me, it was a moment of comedy which made me giggle over some of the absurdity I've already been through in trying to make sure I get my shots. And it was a moment of reality that fertiles are most likely completely unaware of. Maybe it will help shed some light on what we go through.
The other moment that struck me was when Christina approached Meredith about Cali wanting Christina to be her baby's godmother. Meredith told Christina it was out of the question. She later revealed that it was because if her own best friend agreed to be the godmother to someone else's baby, it was like admitting that Mere would never have a baby of her own. This to me was a moment of real envy that I so often find myself facing when I find that others around me are so magically fertile.
The last moment I want to point out was from a week or so ago. Mark told Derek he and Cali were having a baby, and asked for advice about how to handle Lexi. Derek offered none, but simple stated that all Mark had to do was look at a woman, yet he and Mere were struggling. Yet another common infertile thought, whether or not it's stated out loud.
Like I said, I am reserving judgement until the arc plays out, but in the meantime, I am glad that some of these emotions and experiences are being played out.
So, on a lighter note, infertile friends, what are some of your absurd experiences involving injections?
I tell of the anxiety of the first and only time I had to travel with drugs here (the planning), here (getting through security), and here (my first self injection). We've had other moments, like potentially having to reschedule Hubby's birthday dinner out due to a trigger shot schedule, and sneaking off upstairs in the middle of a dinner party, leaving our friends to dish themselves up. I'm sure there will be more (maybe not too many?) this coming cycle. Just waiting to get started.
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