Nine

My sweet little L Monster, you have been nine months old for a few weeks now. Life continues to move at the speed of light for our little family. It is hard to keep up with the day to day chores, let alone your monthly photos and updates! But, I began this project intending to follow it through for your first year, so, better late than never...right peanut?

Your ninth month was filled with family time. We spent your first Father's Day with Daddy at Uncle J's new house, with Grandma & Grandpa and Great-Grandpa. You had a lot of fun crawling around on the big open floors that have yet to be filled with furniture.

A few weeks later, we headed to Cousin E's house to celebrate all of the June and July birthday's in Daddy's family. There are a lot of them for sure. E has a pool, so you got to go for your first real swim. You had so much fun in your float, laughing your head off at your cousin D who made it his mission to entertain you. You didn't even flinch when I brought you into the water, unlike your cousin A, who is just a few months older than you. His daddy had to take it really slow getting him into the water.

Before your first real swim, we practiced a lot in a jumbo sized wading pool that I bought for our back yard. It's big enough for me and Daddy to get in it with you, and has been quite refreshing during the heat wave we dealt with for a few weeks this summer. You seem to like it reasonably well, for about a half hour or so at least. I, of course, could sit in there all day!

Since I am a bit late in writing this, it's hard to remember exactly what new things you started doing between eight and nine months. But there is one exciting skill I know your picked up the week of the Fourth of July while Granny was visiting. We have a push/ride on toy that you love playing with. I held you up behind it in the push position, and you grabbed hold and walked your way across the living room...several times! We brought it with us to Uncle J's on the 4th, and you walked all around his house as well, with such a look of pride on your face. Oh, it's just so much fun to see you figure out how to do new things! Since then, you love to walk with us holding your hands, and you are getting quite speedy.

That week, while Granny was visiting, we also went to a sprinkler park a few minutes from our house. You seemed to really enjoy watching the water, and the other kids, but you had a very serious look on your face most of the time. Just taking it all in, trying to understand what the heck was going on all around you.

You are eating more and more these days. We've been trying to add more finger foods so that you can do more yourself. You can blow through a banana at warp speeds. Strawberries are another favorite. They are the perfect size for your hands right now. You've also learned to drink from your straw sippy cup, which is just about the cutest thing ever.

You are constantly on the go, needing to see and touch every new object that crosses your path. You always have something in your hand, which makes it quite comical when you refuse to put it down while trying to pull yourself up to stand. You've become quite interested in your toys as well, and can entertain yourself for long periods of time. One of your favorites is a lawn mower that makes a real mower sound and has balls that whir around in the middle.

You are more and more talkative every day. The "da da da dat" often seems to be expressing your opinion, usually of dissatisfaction! Yes, indeed, your personality is definitely becoming very noticeable. You are usually very happy, and content. But when you want something, you do not hesitate to make it known! Every once in awhile, you do let out a few "mmmmaa, mmam, mma" sounds. In fact, there was one night when I got home after you went to bed, and Daddy said you were looking for me while working on your ms. Little Man, I think you might just know my name!

My darling little peanut, I could go on and on, and on. Every day with you is a precious gift, and the delight of my day. You are becoming such an amazing little boy, and I continue to relish watching you grow, and learn and discover. It's the best adventure ever.

Two Thirds

My Little L Monster, you turned 8 months old two weeks ago already. That means two/thirds of your first year is already behind us. I continue to marvel at just how quickly time flies. And life continues to be quite busy for our little family.

We had many adventures in your eighth month, beginning with our trip to the zoo for Mother's Day. We got an amazing picture of you with the jaguar. You were able to sit right next to him with only a piece of glass between you. Other than that, though, you didn't really seem to notice many of the other animals.

At the end of May, Daddy, you and I took a road trip to Lake George, NY, over Memorial Day weekend. We decided to return to the place where Daddy and I got married in honor of our fifth anniversary. We rented a cottage on the right on the lake with an amazing view of the mountains. The weather wasn't as ideal as we hoped, but that didn't stop us from walking around town, taking a steamboat ride, venturing into a photobooth, taking you for your first spin on a carousel, and generally having a great family weekend. You were a great sport about all the travelling, sleeping great in the car and in your pack 'n play...well, except for the one night your third tooth came in. That was a bit rough. It's funny, it wasn't your top front tooth, as we expected. We think it's your K9, as it's way over to the side. You have a funny little jack o' lantern grin right now. That night, we also discovered your love for spoons. We let you take one to bed with you that night, as it was the only thing that seemed to sooth your pain. You clutched it all night, like a security blanket.

With the hot weather finally here, we've started to enjoy some water fun as well. I bought an inflatable wading pool that's big enough for me to go in with you. We also met some of our friends at a splash park in our town. I can't wait to get you to the beach. I am sure you are going to love playing in the sand.

Your physical development continues to wow everyone who knows you. Shortly after you started crawling (granted, it's still a modified army crawl, on your knees and forearms instead of your hands), you learned to sit yourself up. I caught you on the monitor one day, just sitting up in your crib. It took a few days before I actually witnessed you get into this position. It was only a few short days later that you learned to pull up. Now, all you want to do is stand. You do make me nervous, little Peanut, as you are quite determined, and have no concept of danger. You are definitely starting to accumulate a collection of bumps and bruises from loosing your balance. I'm sure this is only the beginning!
You are starting to babble a lot more too. You have definitely mastered the da syllable. "Da da dat dat," you love to chatter on all day. I'm hoping for a little ma ma ma soon myself.

You're getting really good at putting yourself to sleep as well. Since you learned to pull up in your crib, your pretty much won't stay flat when put you down. You stand up and chatter for a few minutes, and eventually, you become so tired you can't stay up anymore. Sometimes you whimper for about ten minutes as you give in to sleep. But all in all, you have made bedtime pretty easy on us, and I am quite grateful for that!

My darling, sweet, amazing little man, it is such an incredible joy to share my life with you and to watch the wonder on your face as you explore and learn about the world around you. It is the most amazing experience I have ever had.

Seven

My handsome little man (we are worried you will never learn your name, as we have so many nicknames for you), you are seven months old already. Seriously kiddo, where on earth does the time go? I swear, with every day that passes, you can do something new.

What's your biggest new trick this month? Crawling! You're not very smooth about it yet, and you don't go very fast or far, but you can make it all the way across the living room if there is something you want badly enough...like a remote or an iPhone. Boy, do we need to keep an eye on you now! You are so curious, and love to check out any new object you set your sights on. There truly is nothing better than watching you learn about your world.

Aside from crawling, you are a rolling pro now. There is pretty much no keeping you flat on your back on the changing table any more, which makes diaper changes...well, challenging. I've given up getting you dressed up there. It's much easier to set you down on the floor to attack some toys while we struggle. And there is no telling what position you will end up in when we put you down in your crib. I often see you turned completely perpendicular to the side when I watch you on the monitor.

You seem to have finally figured out that I am your mommy. It's the best feeling in the world when I see you reach your arms up for me to grab you and give you a hug. Melts. My. Heart. You give the best hugs too...you grab my face between your little hands, and sort of do a head but. Sometimes there are kisses too. Big, sloppy, open mouth kisses. There's nothing better.

This month was a month of big changes for our family. You started day care, three days a week, at the local YMCA. You really seem to love it so far. Your face lights up when you see your teachers in the morning, and you barely seem to notice me when I come to get you at the end of the day. I'm told you are very busy there every day, doing the things that babies do!

Unfortunately, after only your second day there, you came down with a nasty cold and ended up missing what was supposed to be your third day there! You were on two kinds of antibiotics. A liquid, and an eye ointment. Basically, you had an eye, ear and nose infection all at once. Poor little guy.

And then, Mommy and Daddy got sick too! Daddy got your pink eye. Except for him, it was red, and really frightening! He ended up missing three days of work. We are all just now on the upswing. I think it will take a little while before we are all feeling normal again.

Anyway, the whole reason you started daycare, is because I went back to work. So far, it's going ok. But I really would rather be hanging with my peanut. In the long run, though, I think it's a healthy decision for all of us. You are clearly getting a lot more than just a cold from your daycare experience. And my income will keep many more opportunities available for our family. It's just going to take me awhile to get used to not being with you for the majority of every day. You are quite simply, the light of my life.

*no big surprise, don't have the photos ready, so here's a few from Mother's Day...and the six month photo is up now too. 

Lockdown

There aren't really words to describe the surrealism of what has happened this week in the city I've called home for the last fifteen years. I've made no secret of the fact that I live in Metro Boston. And I am in fact in one of the cities bordering on Watertown, that has been asked to remain at home today. I work in Watertown. The Target that I often frequent is in across from the parking lot that has been overtaken by law enforcement today in the manhunt for the Marathon Bomber. Sitting at home today with L and Hubby, whose office was closed, I can't seem to wrap my mind around it.

It's hard to describe the importance of the Boston Marathon to someone who hasn't witnessed it. I watched my first race a block from the finish line, five floors above where the second bomb went off. I worked in that white building you can see behind the big puff of smoke for two years when I first moved to Boston. I walked past the finish line twice a day on my way to and from my office from the subway.

My company had a party that day. I didn't really understand the hype, having moved to Boston the previous fall. But the city basically turns into a 26 mile party. People are happy. The city is full of energy and celebration. People enjoy the fresh air and sunshine, and support the runners who are accomplishing great personal goals. And that's what struck me. Just how inspiring it was to watch thousands of people running down Boylston Street, long after the elite runners had already finished the race. My coworkers and I hung out those fifth floor windows for hours, cheering on the seemingly endless stream of runners. It never got boring.

I will never have the desire to run a marathon myself. The longest I've ever run in my life was two miles back when I was forced to in high school. I pretty much despise running. Which was why I was  struck by the emotion I felt watching so many average, everyday people, who had worked so hard to accomplish their goal, pass by those windows, one block from the finish line. Five stories above, and fourteen years before that second bomb.

I am so sad, and filled with disbelief that something like this could happen in the place I chose to call my home. I am devastated for those who lost their lives, those who lost their limbs, those who lost their innocence. I am devastated for those who worked and trained so hard for months to accomplish the goal of crossing that finish line, and had their dream cut short by this tragedy. For some reason, I really find myself focusing on those who had their dream cut short. Maybe that is somehow easier than to think about the poor eight-year old boy who had his life cut way too short when he was just so excited to cheer on his daddy. I had actually thought to myself this Monday morning, about how fun it would be someday, to bring L to see the marathon, so he too could see how inspiring it is to cheer people on who are accomplishing their dreams.

I simply cannot comprehend it.

Thirty Days of Fabulous Challenge

The lovely C.hon from Life Begins is hosting a challenge this month. 30 Days of Fabulous! Our Creativity Challenge in the late summer of 2011 was such a life saver for me, as I waited for my second IVF cycle to start. How could I not decide to participate in this?

Starting today, I plan to join her in working on being fabulous for the next 30 days. It's perfect timing for me to focus on myself, as I have one week left until L starts daycare, and two until I start work. It's time to focus on myself and my appearance a little bit more. I'm not sure how much I'll manage to accomplish, but simply an awareness of wanting to be more fabulous, whether or not I manage to cross everything off the list, is surely a step in the right direction, right?

I'm hoping to be able to share some photos along the way using instagram and #30dayfabulouschallenge. Email me if you would like to follow me there and I will tell you how to find me. (or on facebook or pinterest for that matter...I'm really enjoying keeping up with my blogger friends through other means these days). I'll be back here in 30 days, if not before to let you know how I did.

So, without further ado, I challenge you all to be fabulous!

Half

My precious little peanut, you are six months old (well, and a couple days...you're mama is not doing well at being on time these days!) That means you are a half. A half of a year. And what an amazing half of a year it has been!

This month, you are like a completely different kid that you were last month. It's truly awesome, the speed with which you gain new skills. In the past month you have started to sit up on your own, and are quite skilled at it. You can stand on your own if you have something to lean/hold on to. You understand what to do when you are lying on your back and I hold my hands out to you. You grab my hands and start to lift your head like you are doing a crunch, knowing that I am going to pull you up into a sitting position. From there, you did your feet into the ground and stand all the way up with the biggest look of pride on your face. You have rolled from you back to your belly once or twice, but I have yet to catch you in the act. You sit up in the sink for your baths now, instead of in your little seat, and splash the water like a crazy man. I am thrilled that you seem to love the water, as I intend to sign us up for swimming lessons in the coming months. Oh, and I almost forgot my favorite new skill...raspberries. You have started blowing raspberries. Usually in combination with uttering one of your two consonant sounds..."deee." It goes something like this...."Phluhuhuhuhuh...unnn deee!" You also make a g sound at times that sounds like "unh-gah." And your feet! You have found your feet! How could I forget that part! Yes indeed, little man, it has been quite the developmental month.

You've also had a bunch of new experiences this month. The first, was flying to England. It would not have been my choice for you first flight to be a 6 hour red-eye across the ocean to another country. I will forever harass your Uncle W for moving across the Atlantic. But, you did handle the situation like a pro...once we got on the plane. We were supposed to fly on your 5th month birthday. We got the airport and through security with no issues. We all had dinner while we waited for boarding time. When it was almost time, I brought you to the bathroom to change you one last time. When I picked you up from the table, you spit up. Perfect timing, it just figures, I thought to myself, until I looked down and saw that what you had spit up was blood! Oh Luigi, way to freak your mama out. Let me tell you. I got us both cleaned up and went to find Daddy. We decided we could not get on the plane that night and instead headed to the ER to have you checked out. You remained your charming, happy little self the whole time. It didn't appear you knew anything was wrong. They confirmed this at the ER. The doctors told us to hurry you our of there because there was nothing wrong with you and there were too many people with the flu there. They gave us a letter stating that you were healthy enough to fly the next day. And we did! The entire staff of Virgin Atlantic knew who you were when showed up back at the airport the next day. You flew like a champ. We had a bassinet in the bulkhead, which you didn't much care for, but Daddy and I took turns holding you and you slept the whole time.

As for the blood, the theory is that you injured me while nursing, and swallowed some of my blood, which is what you spit up. We were so relieved to know that you were ok.

Our visit in England was fantastic. It was so much fun to see you play with your cousins Lady C and Baby G. You all really seemed to enjoy each other. We will be seeing them again for a few days in July. And I really hope they decide to move back to the states soon so we can see them more often. While we were there, you had your first babysitter who is not related to you. You did great with that, even though you were still awake when we got home. I'll blame jet lag.

Some of the other new things you did this month included going on the swing in the playground near our house, sitting in the high chair at a restaurant, riding in your new stroller facing forward so you can sit more upright and look out at the world, and visiting the local children's museum to celebrate my birthday. You are also now sleeping in your own room through (most) of the night!

Ooh, and how could I possible forget your teeth! You have two of them. The bottom ones in the front. The second one is still barely in, but it's through the gum and hopefully isn't bothering you too much at the moment. I love seeing you smile and catching a glimpse of those teeth. I haven't managed to catch them in a photo yet, but you know I won't stop trying!

*four and five month photos are up. And here's a few of L, in no particular order, to tide you over until I get his 6 month photo
shoot done and processed. 

First Swing

First Restaurant High Chair

Easter Finest

Two Little Monkeys

Hanging with Lady C

Cousins

At the pub with Daddy

Proof he was in England

Best Buds!

Flying in Style (Briefly)

Family Portrait

Sitting Like a Rockstar

Standing!

Loving the Bath

Enjoying Spring!

Ok, I might have gotten a bit carried away...you don't mind, right?

38 and Feeling Great

I turned 38 last week on April 4th. And I have to say, I am feeling better than I have in a long, long while. I know I've been kind of quiet around these parts lately. There has been a lot of talk about healing. And I think that's what I've been doing. Healing from IF, healing from PPD, not to mentiong healing from a sinus infection and a stomach bug! And today, at least in this very moment, I am feeling great!

The medications and the therapy have made all the difference in the world for my mood. I am finally feeling confident, and capable, and no longer freak out at the thought of Hubby possibly having to spend a few nights away. (we'll see how I feel if/when this actually happens right when I go back to work!) Leo is changing and growing every day, and it is pure joy to watch him take on the world. More about what he's up to in the next day or so when I write his 6 month post. (how on earth did 6 months go by so darn quickly??)

When I look at photos of myself these days, I am beginning to see my sparkle again. My smile seems genuine, no longer forced. And being nearly 30 pounds lighter than I was 5 years ago when I go married doesn't hurt either. I'm not really looking forward to starting work again in three weeks, but I am looking forward to going back looking and feeling better than I have since before I started this job. 

I do feel like I don't have much to say these days. And I think that's because I'm happy. I finally have the family I've dreamed of. It's spring, the sun is shining, the days are longer. I want to spend my time enjoying my life instead of documenting it. I feel less of a need to write when things are going well. There is less to work through, to process. It's easier to just be. 

I'm sure there will be times when I'll still need this space. I'm not going to make any decisions about giving it up right now. This community is too valuable of a resource! I still plan to post L's monthly updates here for at least his first year. After that, who knows. 

I'll leave you with this shot of my little cutie enjoying his first trip to the Boston Children's Museum, which is how we celebrated my birthday.