Advice for New Moms from New Moms

L and I just finished an 8 week class called Great Beginnings at a Boston area parenting center called Isis Parenting. One of our discussion points for the last class was what advice we would have to offer other new moms. I thought it might be nice to share some of those items here, along with some extra points of my own I feel are worth sharing.

• They won't remember. I wrote about this concept back in my first month of motherhood. My mom said to me "you forgave me, right?" in response to me telling her that L had started screaming while I was in the shower, and I felt terrible for letting him cry. Really. Think back. You can't remember, right?
• If you are nursing, let your husband give the baby a bottle as soon as you are ready to pump...3 weeks or so should do it. I wish I had done it sooner. It made all the difference in the world to me in the second month to be able to sleep one stretch that was more than two hours during the night. 
• Take a mommy and me style class. Don't wait. It is great to have a reason to get out of the house, and meeting other moms in person is invaluable. It also helps to hear other babies cry, and realize that if they don't really sound that loud to you, then your baby must not sound all that loud to everyone else. 
• Don't compare yourself to other moms. You are doing the best that you can with the circumstances that you have to take the best care of your baby. 
• Don't compare your baby to other babies. Some will sleep for 12 hours straight early on in life. Some won't be able to nurse. Some will want to eat every two hours. Some will be awesome at tummy time. Some will hate it. Some will be big. Some will be small. Who cares? Your baby is your baby, and that, in itself, especially in this world, is simply awesome. 
• Wait for the third poop/fart before changing the diaper. Poop often come in threes. Avoid the projectile poop in the bathroom at the restaurant as just happened to my classmate at lunch today. Wait for the third poop!
• If you need to use a nipple shield, own more than one. And bring more than one out into the world with you or you might have to cut your first in restaurant nursing session short when the shield falls onto the floor. Yes, this just happened to me. 
• If you need to use a nipple shield, try at least once a day to nurse without it, or you will be 14 weeks in and still completely dependent on the darn thing. 
• Accept help from whoever is willing. 
• Request that all visitors bring food.  
• Don't be afraid to take your baby to restaurants, especially when they are small and good at falling asleep anywhere. 
• Make sure to take time for yourself (easier said than done, as I have failed miserably at this so far. I am in desperate need of a massage. Nursing has destroyed my back and neck)
• In addition to time for yourself. Take care of yourself. If the crazy thoughts about harm coming to your baby are still with you at fourteen weeks, and insomnia, fatigue and irritability are dominating your life (ahem)* then it is time to pick up the phone and call for help. 

What about the other moms out there...what advice to you have to offer to new moms?

*Yes, there will be another post on this topic as soon as I can manage. I think it's time. I can't deny it any longer.