When I left the house yesterday, I was feeling so good. I was wearing one of my favorite maternity tops with my comfy black yoga pants that still work for work. Hubby really liked my outfit. People keep telling me that I look great. And I was starting to believe it. Somehow, I think pregnancy suits my size 14/16 body. My normal pugginess is stretched into an elegant bump. I've been lucky enough to have clear skin, and no signs of swelling yet. I actually acknowledged feeling good about my body as I headed out to have my blood drawn after drinking all that damn sugar. (Which, by the way, wasn't bad at all. I had a fruit punch flavor that tasted exactly like kool aid.)
Then, during my visit with the OB, she asked if I had any questions. And I really didn't. I feel like everything is moving along just fine. We've already talked about my sleep and shoulder issues and I'm implementing the solutions. (Benadryl every few nights for sleep, starting physical therapy next week for shoulders). But wait...should I have questions? Am I a bad mother because I don't have questions? Or is it a reaction to the over abundance of information I have taken in from this community?
By the way, she started to tell me about what type of contractions require a phone call to her. "But I haven't had any yet," I said. "Between now and your appointment at 30 weeks, you just might." Was her reply. Holy crap!
Then, I saw that 146 result, and I just knew it wasn't good. It was confirmed later in the day when I finally heard back from the nurse. I'm waiting again to hear when she can schedule me for the 3 hour test. I really, really hope I don't have GD. I can't even tell you how failing the screening test just took the wind right out of the sails of my positive body image that I had only a few hours to embrace. It left me feeling tired, sad, fat and lazy. I'm still feeling in a funk today. I asked Hubby not to share this news with his mom, because his cousin A who is three weeks ahead of me (and who's shower I finally officially declined) has GD and is having a really hard time. And since MIL keeps talking about it with us, I can only imagine that she would discuss my situation with her mother and sister if she were to know.
He said he had no intention of telling her. And for more reasons than me just not wanting her to know. You see, I'm 26 and a half weeks. I have made it past the point at which my BIL's baby was lost. I was thinking that maybe now the handful of people in Hubby's family who know, would finally breathe a sigh of relief. No such luck. It turns out that A, who also has placenta previa, was in for probably her 30 week appointment yesterday and they found that her cervix is dilating. I don't know how much. She was put in an ambulance and sent up to a major medical center in Boston to be kept for a week. And they started giving her steroids. Now, I might be wrong, maybe some of you with experience might be able to shed some light on this. But, I'm guessing those are more to beef up a baby that might come early than to do anything to stop what's happening with her. Am I wrong? So, now, MIL is a weepy mess all over again. Even if I wanted to tell her I might have GD, this is clearly not the time. Anyway, please, send positive thoughts that everything is ok with A and her baby.
To end on an up, I found out recently that my friend T, who's wedding I attended in DC this April, is also expecting. She found out 3 days before her wedding, and is due on New Year's Day. She's been a dear friend since Jr. High, and I couldn't be more excited to share this experience with her. It is significant that she was pregnant before the wedding for several reasons. First of all, she was very Catholic, but her brother is gay, and left the church for the Episcopalians years back. She had some issues pulling together her wedding, and ended up converting there as well. Just knowing how Catholic she was (her dad was studying to be a priest when he met her mother), and that she was already pregnant at her wedding makes me chuckle in a good way. But the most important part is that she's 37, and has struggled with anorexia since high school. She's destined to be a mother, but when she ended a long term relationship in her early 30s, and struggled to meet someone knew, I was worried she'd have trouble realizing that dream. But, because she knew about my situation, she convinced her fiance (early 40s) to start trying before the wedding, because you just never know how long it might take. I'm beyond thrilled that it didn't take long for them. And I'm beyond thrilled that my story made a difference to someone I love.
Ugh I am so sorry about the glucose test. That's awful but I'm hoping the 3 hr comes back ok. I'm also keeping positive thoughts for A. You have so much going on! Sending you big hugs too.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel like you failed. 146 is not a horrible result (there are times when women have such high readings that they are deemed GD after the 1 hr test). I also failed the 1 hr at my 28 week test and easily passed the 3 hr test. You may have just had too much sugar right before the 1 hr test.
ReplyDeleteMy tip- bring some sugarfree gum to chew while waiting around during the 3 hr test. It makes the not eating for 15 hours much more tolerable. And bring something to eat (preferably with protein) to eat right when you are done. Chin up!
I got a worse number on my 1 hour test and declined the 3 hour, opting to test my sugars at home and change my diet instead. Honestly, just not having juice or cereal in the morning or pasta at night was all it took to keep my numbers good. And I even cheated quite a lot at the end and nothing ever came of it. I was terrified of the GD diagnosis but it ended up being pretty meaningless in the end.
ReplyDeleteYou're not diagnosed with GD yet! Keep the faith, girl! And even if you are, just remember that tons of skinny women are diagnosed with GD too. Sometimes it's just genetic. You are beautiful, no matter what a damn test says!
ReplyDeleteYou're right that A wasn't given steroids to stop her preterm labor, but they aren't given to "beef up" the baby; they're administered because they are believed to help mature premature babies' lungs. (I got two steroid injections when I was hospitalized for preeclampsia just before 34 weeks and knew I'd be delivering early, and I do believe they helped.)
ReplyDeleteDon't feel down about the possibility of GD. If you do have it, it is pretty easily managed, and it is a hormonal condition which is largely outside your control (and therefore in no way your fault).
Sorry you failed the test. Hoping it won't affect your health too much.
ReplyDeleteGlucose tests suck. I am really hoping you are good in that department. I also worry about contracting that!
ReplyDeleteI will think of A and hope they can do something to slow things down. The steroids will help baby's lungs develope faster.