Despite the fact that Hubby and I spent the weekend in our yard for the first time this year (and for me ever), cleaning up, filling up 17 yard waste bags, and making 12 bundles of sticks, I am still feeling pissed off and annoyed that the inside of my house is a cluttered mess, that my suitcase from my vacation is still lying on the bedroom floor with stuff in it, that there are 3 loads of laundry sitting clean in baskets, getting more and more wrinkled while they wait to be put away.
I know this is a theme with me of late, but I am really struggling with living in the moment, and feeling accomplished and proud of things like 17 bags of yard waste, instead of feeling guilty about all the other things I didn't do. It's been a problem I've had for most of my life, and is probably exacerbated right now with the anticipation of IVF. I sometimes attribute it to bouncing back and forth between parents as a teen...never in the right place, always somewhere else I could be.
Any insights would be most appreciated. How do you all keep up with life?
Hubby says just focus on the big projects, like the yard or organizing the office, and don't stress about the laundry and dishes, because there will always be laundry and dishes. His mom, my mom, and many people have to run around their house picking up like crazy maniacs because they are having company. But that doesn't change the fact that I am not happy living amongst a mess day to day anymore. And I am also not happy feeling like I can't manage to fit in creatively fulfilling projects.
I am apparently hard to satisfy.
So tell me, am I the only one out there living amongst clutter, piles of laundry, dirty dishes, and unpacked suitcases?
Last night I was sitting on my couch and I realized what a mess my house was. So instead of vegging and watching my reality TV I made myself get up to unload and load the dishwasher and start some laundry. I felt a little better after that. There just isn't enough time in the day some weeks.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely not alone. The piles keep gathering themselves no matter what I do. It doesn't help that my husband doesn't "notice" the mess. He just walks around it. He's the one with loads of laundry in the baskets not getting put away. It's terribly annoying, but he's 40 years old and I don't think he's going to change now. :)
ReplyDeleteI've resigned myself to clean one room at a time. I used to clean the house from top to bottom in 12 hours, wasting the whole day. But now, well, I have to adjust. So I do what I can and then do what I can again the next day.
Imagine when we have children running around. It's never going to be perfectly clean again. I'm just preparing for the future :)
i make a small to do list- on the things i know i can accomplish that day and let the rest go. my to do lists used to be so long and i started rebelling, so now i pick and choose what can be done and what can be ignored.
ReplyDeleteoh and have a house with lots and lots of closests where you can hide things :)
My husband refers to me as a packrat sometimes. I leave things in piles, but later I can just pick up that pile instead of picking up crap from everywhere to put away.
ReplyDeleteI try to focus on major projects and make sure they are seen through to completion before starting a new one. Just make sure your yard is finished before you start rearranging/redoing a room in your house, then finish that one before starting another. The little crap will always be there, laundry, papers, receipts, dishes...etc. Do one thing each day and it will take care of itself.
I also try to keep the mess to one room, I tend to throw everything in our spare bedroom and then clean it out on the weekend, it's the only time I have the time.
No, I promise you are not alone. Although I try to do at least one hour or house/yard work each day when I get home, some days I do nothing and by Thursday....complete and total disaster. I am really annoyed on Saturday morning when I have to spend several hours cleaning.
ReplyDeleteRecently I have begun to fill garbage bags with unused items. So far the bags have only made it to my car, but as God is my witness, one day they will make it to the thrift store.
I have no tips other than to not look at the "mess" as you think a guest to your home would view it. Look at the piles and the boxes as works in progress. Then make an effort to do one thing each day for the week. If nothing else, doing that one thing each day will add up by the end of the week. Good luck!
Heck no! You are NOT alone. Both my hubby and I hate doing laundry so much that it sits in piles for weeks! I just find that other things are more important.
ReplyDeleteI do try to tackle one thing a day so I don't get too backed up. Sometimes it works, sometimes it really doesn't.
MissC
You are in good company. I'm ashamed at how my house looks right now. I just can't seem to motivate myself to get started!
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew how people do it... or appear to anyway. I try to never leave dishes in the sink, that's the one thing in the kitchen that makes me feel like something is accomplished. In other rooms, I find ways to cheat. We have built in cabinets in the living room, always throwing blankets and junk in there to pick up the living room quick. Always a work in progress but don't want to look back and say that I kept a clean house but missed out on life!
ReplyDeleteOur house stays pretty clean all the time now because my husband is a neatnik who does more than his share of housework, and we also have a clearning lady in every other week for the heavy cleaning.
ReplyDeleteBUT when I was single, I struggled with this constantly. Some things that really helped me: decluttering (getting rid of extra stuff I didn't really need), doing a little each day, and having routines.
Have you ever heard of FlyLady? Her website is devoted to helping people get control of the chaos in their homes. Might be worth checking out if this is something that really bothers you.
P.S. Found your site through cyclesista.
You are definitely not alone! My hubby and I were talking about this just the other day. The to-do list is so long, and it's easy to get overwhelmed. We just try to prioritize, take breaks to have fun and enjoy each other, and chip away at it the best we can. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteHow about living OUT of an unpacked suitcase? Which I do five days out of seven. Like you, clutter and mess make me crazy and keep me from optimal function and creativity.
ReplyDeleteMy DH bites off small parts of a project and keeps at it till he's done, getting better results than anyone I know. All the while he's surrounded by messes because they don't bother him; he functions and CREATES despite them (he's a composer). Meanwhile, I go crazy cleaning his messes, my own meses, and keeping up with the day to day.
I am trying to work on this. I am trying to IGNORE the messes and ALLOW myself time to create. I am always happier when I do, and as a result the messes don't bother me as much.
And as SLESE1014 said, imagine when we have children? We'd better nip our clutter obsessions in the bud. But it's hard battling a lifetime habit of neat-nick-ness, so if I figure out any "hows" I'll let you know!